When Couples Therapy Gets REAL (ft. John Cena)

(bells jingling) – Hello everyone, welcome to Group Couples Therapy This is a safe place where you and your partner can share any issues you might be having

Now, who wants to go first? – Hey, Dan We're here because we've been married for five years and things just aren't the same anymore – Hi, Becky Um, I'm here because my husband likes to speak on my behalf – Kelly

I'm here with my girlfriend, and I just feel like she's too busy for me – Sorry, just wrapping up an email – Hi, I'm John, and I'm here because in public, Lilly and I act like everything's perfect and then in private, we hate each other – Yeah, no, totally And sometimes at night when he's falling asleep, I just look at him like, aww

I could just put a pillow over his face and then just press down really, really hard until he suffocates and dies because he's literally the most annoying person I've ever met – Right, all couples have issues– – Not to mention he's just like, so big he does like weird stuff when he sits He can't just, like sit He's just always doing something – If you're not moving, you're dying

– Let's discuss some different examples of conflict – Well this one time, I came home late from a night out with my guy friends and Becky made me sleep on the sofa – Bro, I totally relate One time I didn't text Lilly right back and she leaked my nudes – Oh my god, okay, stop being so dramatic

They took the billboard down in like three days – My butthole was out – I forgot our anniversary and Kelly didn't speak to me for like a week – Yeah, no, I totally get it I forgot our three month anniversary and John didn't wanna talk to me so he changed his number in my phone to my mom's

I was sexting her for a week – Okay – Why didn't she tell you to stop? – She just likes hearing from me – Right, some examples are more intense than others– – After our second date, John got a tattoo for me – Oh

– Aww – It says the wrong name, though John, tell them why – Ugh – Ooh

– Yeah, I thought she was Priyanka for the first two dates – Yeah – Oh my gosh, yeah, I thought he was Donald Glover – All right guys, let's reel it back in – I thought she was– – Don't

– Solange – What are you even doing? – Focus, focus – Now the good thing is when we express our feelings, we build trust Now let's try that – Dan

I don't like it when you interrupt me (deeply exhales) – Okay, see, this is good This is constructive 'cause we have communication It's clear how she feels – Masako, I don't like when you put your work before me – Okay

(clears throat) John, I didn't like when you put the mousetrap in my makeup bag – Lilly, I didn't like when you made out with me last week with a peanut butter cup in your mouth You know I'm allergic to peanuts I only watched one episode without you – Okay, I had an EpiPen handy

– You stabbed me with a Sharpie! – It was dark! How many times am I gonna have to hear you complain about this? Baby – She (bleep) stabbed me – Communication is really the foundation of any strong relationship – She can't even communicate in person No, she's literally texting me right now

– Oh my god, no I'm not Not I'm not, I'm doing something else – "Stop" – Okay, now let's reign it back in – Uh, "Stop reading this, you're embarrassing me

"I hate you "I hate your whole face" Frown emoji Angry emoji Poop emoji

Frown emoji Head exploding emoji Okay emoji, finger emoji "It's a brown apartment," what? – That was for my Postmates – Oh this one time, to get back at Becky, I pretended to be sick so I wouldn't have to go to her sister's birthday

– Same page, bro She kept texting her ex, so to piss her off, I hooked up with him – I wouldn't say that's necessarily productive – He was muscular He had, uh

– I know – Deep, deep way about him I'll never forget those five nights

– Five? – Once, I burnt her salmon on purpose I know she hates that – Same This one time I threw a whole bunch of gas bombs into his house, and then I blocked him – On Twitter? – No, like I blocked the exits

– Sometimes we can do things to our partners that we don't realize are hurtful – Oh, I hear you loud and clear One time, during sexual intercourse, Lilly referred to my penis as Twilight Sparkle – Okay, to be fair, we just finished watching My Little Pony, so – That's fair

I'm a Brony (sighs) (quirky music) – Stop – His boobs are bigger than mine – I know – But I'll admit, I shouldn't have lit your favorite pants on fire, while you were wearing them

I mean, we've all been there, right? – I mean, who hasn't gotten their girlfriend's car towed because she took too long getting ready? Am I right? – And vows? They're more like suggestions – I'd be concerned if I wasn't putting Nair in her shampoo bottle – That's why I'm wearing a hat – Good news is that it doesn't seem like it can get any worse for you two Um, how long have you been married? – Oh, we're not married

– No, we're cousins Should we head to the family reunion? Hope you enjoyed this video with– – John Cena! – Make sure you check him out in Bumblebee, it's out this weekend All the information is in the description Last collaboration over there, behind the scenes there Make sure you subscribe because I got more collaborations coming

One love, superwoman, that is a wrap and zoop – That's my thing – Did I do that?

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