What School Should REALLY Teach You

– Do you ever stop what you're doing in the middle of the day and just think, I'm a moron What up, everyone, it's your girl, Super Woman

And I've been through years and years of school but I still feel like I don't know how to function like a proper human being in the real world Like every once in awhile, I have no idea how to do a simple task Like I literally just walk past my degree on the wall and I'm just wondering like how the eff do I still get lost in Ikea every damn time? And how can I never remember where I park my car? And I never have enough Icloud storage Mostly because I don't know what that is That's because sometimes, aka very likely, aka like Monday to Friday, school teaches kids useless things

I'm just saying, school should prepare you for real world struggles Number One, Mathematics I'm lost in a strange place and my phone is dead, what do I do? Recite your nine times tables said no one ever Let's just be real, most of the math you learn in school is completely useless in everyday life Today we're gonna learn how to measure the circumference of a circle

The diameter of a circle The radius of the trigonometry The length of this side of this triangle, the hypotenuse Math is also going to include letters now Okay, math is now pretty little letters

Fall for A Parabola Two parabolas, parabola, two parabolas Acute angles – Aww, cute

– Trapezoids – Eh! – And the equation of this hexagon cole sign parallelogram tangent isosceles Any questions? And because school fills your head with all these complex equations when it comes to simple everyday math, you're an idiot box That was so good I need to like unbutton my pants

Oh thank you Oh actually can we split the bill? – No sorry, not for parties over two – Oh – Bust out your calculators everybody Who got the steak? – Depends, how much was it again? – What do you mean how much was it? Doesn't matter how much, did you get the steak or did you not get the steak? – I honestly think it's just like $30 each

– Yo, I didn't drink Both of you did – Also, yeah, you got guac on the side – Guac isn't extra – Guac is always extra, shut your mouth – Does it include tip yet? – No

So we have to tip individually Let's just tip individually Cash, credit card, what are you doing– – Let's just call it 20 bucks each – All right, but this includes gratuity – Okay, okay, I loved that movie

– That's Ratatouille, ho, this is gratuity Boy, you stupid – Okay, we're like $80 short – How? – Because of the tax – What the hell is tax? – Hold up, I didn't carry the one

– What's the standard, is it 13%? – Plus it, divided by two– – Can we get some graph paper, just can we? If I had a dollar for every time my friends and I could not figure out the division of the bill, I would have enough money to just pay for the whole meal Because me stupid Number two: foreign languages Growing up in Canada, I had to learn French (speaks foreign language) So for nine years of my life, I had to learn this as a second language

So tell me why the biggest language barrier I have ever faced while traveling is in France because I had no idea what the F anyone was saying Why you ask? Because (speaks foreign language) Welcome to your first day of French class

Today we're going to learn all about pizza toppings How to conjugate the verb to jump (speaks foreign language) Today's lesson, circus terms (speaks foreign language) (speaks foreign language) No no (speaks foreign language) (speaks foreign language) (speaks foreign language) – How do you say, I need help? – You know what they should teach you in school? How to understand foreign languages you will see in your daily life

– Wait, can you park here? – It says I can park here between noon and three – Okay, so you're good – Oh wait, but it also says not on Mondays And on days that have a T in it – Think you're good

– Also not during street cleaning or during a quarter moon – I think you're good – And by permit only at 5 pm – We're good

– And I think it's a tow away zone on Saturdays – We're still good – Okay, dope Oh no wait, forgot my phone What the F? Reading parking signs 101

I'm just saying, this the type of education we need (speaks foreign language) Worksheets You don't know what frustration or inner turmoil is in life unless you've had to cut out those geometric paper shapes and glue them together to make 3D shapes You know exactly what the F I'm talking about with the effin' tabs and the effin' gluestick I just can't, I'm sweating, I'm literally sweating just thinking about it

In today's day and age that whole process makes no sense All right, students, now today I want you to cut out these shapes and then glue these shapes together to make 3D shapes It's important you learn how to do this because 3D printers will never exist And then I want you to answer questions about the shapes – What if I already know how many sides are on a cube? – Make the cube

– I can literally just count the sides of the cube without building it – Make the cube – I'm done with my sphere – Hey, make the cube Instead of giving me worksheets full of mindless work, teach me how to work with sheets in real life

(upbeat music) (screams) Number four, dress codes Now I'm gonna be straight up The only dress code I had in my school growing up was no gang signs Yeah, that should put a lot of things in context for you But today dress codes in schools are absolutely ridiculous and not at all a good reflection of what the real world is

Class as you can see, this young lady's skirt is one inch too short and I'm not woke enough to realize this dress code is sexist, so, go home Tuck in that shirt, young man Pull up those pants, sir, this isn't a yolo Hey, no hats Looks like your top is one centimeter above your mid drift

We don't want the male students to lose focus, now do we? Schools you have failed as educators if you drill a dress code into your students' minds and then they graduate and after they graduate they get invited to events And they still don't know what the F is appropriate attire to wear Hey, so what's the dress code for the event tonight? – [Man On Phone] Business casual – Like a pant suit? – [Man On Phone] Nope, just nice and casual – Like jeans? – [Man On Phone] No, more business casual

I'll see you there! – K Business casual Hello, I'm business casual Oh, hey, hi me? I'm business casual What's up? Biz cas

Goodday, sir, my name is business casual That's what they should teach in school Okay, I don't give an F what to wear in math class Tell me what to wear to a wedding To a meeting, to a social, also, what the F is a social? Since when is social a noun? First of all, what, what, what? But real talk, can I just be real with you

I know how school feels Everyone going back to school It is true, a lot of the specific things you learn in school, you will never ever use in your life But hear me when I say, you will use the time management, social skills, the work ethic skills All the life skills you learn through being in that environment, you will learn

So you know what? Tough it out, figure out the God damn hypotenuse, okay? I promise it'll be worth it one day Kill it, hustle hard Oh you you, stop stop, you watching right now Before you go anywhere, don't even think about, thumbs up the video, don't even If you wanna watch more videos like this one, right over there, my daily vlog channel behind the scenes all that stuff right over there

Make sure you subscribe 'cause I make new videos every Monday and Thursday and hit that bell to be notified when I upload One love, super woman, that is a wrap and zoop!

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