Weird Stuff That Happens In School

– Yo, what's up? I don't even care if you thumbs up or subscribe, just laugh with me, y'all (horse gallops) (magic twinkle) Whaddup everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman and hold up, wait a minute, I know what you're thinking

Lily what is you doin', why is you makin' back to school videos? You're not in school anymore You're old And hold up, bababa, I'm doing this because I believe education is important, okay, especially because back to school videos do really well and get a lot of views and that's important (laughs) Kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, that's not the only reason I like to reminisce about all the great times I had in school

You know, two years ago Okay, fine, I'm just kidding, three years ago, four years ago I'm just kidding You know what, whatever the hell I say, shut the eff up, it's my channel I always found the following things weird and hilarious

Number one: supply teachers I swear to God If you ever wanna witness pure evil, don't even bother streaming The Exorcist, right, just watch a group of kids who have a supply teacher It's like there's this unspoken code, between students, where it's like, no matter what, if a supply teacher walks into this classroom, we unite – [Male] Oh my gosh

– Good morning (students chatter) – Don't even talk to me during class Bun you! I hate you – Okay, I ain't tryin' to talk to your stank, lyin', backstabbin', ho self – Sh, sh

I can't even hear you La la la – Excuse me – What do you mean? I did all the work in the group project Look at these girls

She don't even know what she's talking about – Yo, chill You're all so annoying – Get out of here You're so waste, Maggie

Get out of here – You're gross Your locker smells Your backpack smells Your lunch smells

– I'm your substitute teacher – (bright, happy music plays) – Oh, hello Alright, everybody, can you please pass your homework forward from yesterday? – Homework? No, Miss, we didn't have any homework – Very funny, but your teacher told me he assigned chapter 10 – No, Mrs

Wright Chapter 10 was last week – Are you sure? It's written right here that- – We never get assigned homework on Tuesdays It's our mental health day – Oh

– And our teacher always lets us use phones in class – I see – Yeah, and we're usually encouraged to create our own field trips – How educational – Yeah, and we're allowed to smoke in class

– Hold on, now – To protest against racism – Oh my Carry on (lighter clicks) – I don't know what it is

It's like a sixth sense that students have Just like, yo, we know we need to collectively lie to the supply teacher And, somehow, we's all on the same page This poor supply, I tell you, she gettin' played more times than Fortnite Number two: answering questions

Now, I know I can't be the first person in the world to make this joke, but it's just so accurate and relatable that it needs to be re-said And that is there is a system in place It's very simple If I know the answer, I put my hand up Therefore, if I do not know the answer, guess what I will not do? Put my hand up! Miss Idiot-Box Math Teacher

Why you breakin' the system because you have instilled the system in me You told me to raise my hand if I know the answer Why you breakin' the system? Why we already have system? Huh? Do you see me on test, just like, this time I'm not going to carry the one No, I don't Follow the system

– Okay, class Let's review yesterday's lesson, okay? Who can tell me the equation of a line Anyone? Anyone at all? (pages rustle) Lilly, how about you? – Uh, I'm not sure – Equation – Uh, I didn't have my hand up

– Of a line – Humble had his hand up Jessica, Mark, they all had their hands up – Y=mx+b Okay? Write it down

– I okay – Any questions? Anyone at all? No questions? – Miss, please, I have to use the washroom, please

– No questions Okay Uh, Humble? Do you wanna go to the washroom? – Yeah, sure What kinda effin' sick joke? Everybody else in the class got their hand up Okay? The class is like a mother-effin' rage

Just and you got her like Lilly Singh Number three: stressed out

Jesus, my hair You know, I'm playin' the part Stressed out Sometimes it's hard to remember that, like, teachers are people too You know what I mean? It's like we always see them in their jobs, teaching, you forget that they go home

They have real people problems Maybe they go home and they have to make a password for something and it's like "Okay, you have to use a capital letter," and then they do and it's like, "Oh my God, no, you have to use a number," okay, so then they do and then it's like, "Oh no, wait, you also need punctuations," and they do and then it's like, "Oh no, and it needs to be 49 characters" And you're like, okay, wait, what was this video about? So annoying The point is that sometimes a teacher's personal life stress can seep into the classroom and it gets hella weird – Okay, class, a nuclear family is a couple and their dependent children regarded as a basic social unit

– So, Miss, if the couple isn't together, it's not considered a nuclear family? – Well, Lilly, maybe the couple isn't together because a young girl married a 40 year old accountant who sweats when he eats And when she cooks dinner after a long day at work, it gets cold Why? Because he says he'll be home by 9 but he really comes home by 12 – So it's not a nuclear family, then? – And when they kiss, he keeps his eyes open And when he sleeps, he snores, but not in an adorable way, in an "I can't get any REM sleep" type of way! – Miss, m- – Write this down

Okay, because when he's done brushing his teeth, he doesn't put the cap back on the toothpaste, so it's not really a paste consistency anymore, it's more like a tar Yeah, so I have to chew my teeth clean every morning (pencil scratches) I had three kids! Okay, my first kid took 14 hours to be born Yeah, that's 14 hours of my vagina splitting in half There's a walrus tattoo on my thigh, it used to be a tiger

– Miss, is this gonna be on the test? – I had dreams! – Number four: attendance You know straight up, this one? It makes no sense I can't even comprehend I am a performer I have performed in front of thousands of people around the world, and I am not nearly as nervous then as I am when I'm waiting for my name to be called during attendance

Why? – Okay, I'm just going to quickly take attendance – Oh no – When I call your name, just say present – Wait, what do we say? – Billy – Yo, wait

Did she say Lilly? – Mark – Yo, she didn't call my name, right? – Monica – What if the way I say present sounds weird? – Anthony – Yo wait, this is Chem 200, right? – Uh, Robert – Miss, can you repeat the instructions? – George

– Oh my god, it's almost my turn – Lilly – You can do this – Lilly? – Lilly, say present – Is Lilly here? – Absent

Damn it – Hold on, hold on Let me get this straight Okay? You want me to sit here and listen to all these names that are not mine, and then at a specific moment you want me to respond with one word to my name? Okay Where was the warning? Number five: teacher's helpers

You know, when I look back at my school years, I realize that a lot of the things teachers ask their kids to do, were wack as eff Hold up, okay, don't get dark Calm down, get your mind out of there I'm talking about simple tasks and errands after school All of these things we used to do for our teachers

And for what? – Alright, Miss, I'm done cleaning the board I put those mugs back in the staff room, and I took out the recycling – Wow, good job, Lilly You know what you get? (cheerful music plays) – Awesome – Now, those quizzes aren't gonna mark themselves

– I'm on it – 'Cause if you think about it, they ain't get any extra credit or get any marks for this work No It's exploitation, okay? It's modern day slavery That's why she's just like, "Oh, yes, hi student

" "Yeah, if you could just mark all these papers for me," "and then can you assemble these iPhones?" I'm on to your games, teacher Stop making people who are younger than you do things that benefit you and really don't benefit them in any way Okay, having said that, yo, can you guys follow me on my social medias? Twitter, Instagram, all these things? Just kidding Don't do it, don't do it No, you see this pimple right here? My selfies have been really hurting, so you need to follow me next week

Okay, yo, peace Do the end card (dramatic slam) (magical twinkle) Yo, I hope you enjoyed that video Like I said, I just want you to laugh but if you want you can go ahead and click that thumbs up My last video's right over there

Second, vlog channel's I say this all the time but do you ever actually go there? Just go there, check it out Make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday

If you want Hope you're having a good day Sending you hugs and kisses One love Superwoman

That is a wrap and zoop

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