Types of People on Their Birthdays

– Wow, look at that gross pimple I'm just gonna do the whole ride like this

What up, everyone? It's your girl Superwoman (sparkly music) (horse neighing and galloping) (wooshing) What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman ♪ Go shorty, it's your birthday ♪ ♪ We gonna party like it's your birthday ♪ Birthdays Some people love 'em, some people hate 'em, but we all got 'em If you don't, yo, that's straight up some X File ish

♪ Do do do dee doo ♪ Remember that show? Am I dating myself? Honestly I'm honored to date myself I'm a goddamn catch What's this video about? Types of people on their birthday Pay attention My dog's just looking at me like, "What the F are you doing?" Mama making you some coin, boy

Thank you (laughing) Number one, the Birthday Weekend Warrior Stop humping my leg Stop, stop Stop

Fine, whatever Now these are the most common types of birthdayers Birthdayees? Birthdayettes Mmm, baguettes These people rage all weekend long and expect you to do the same

Okay girls, listen up At 11:00 am, we have my birthday rooftop brunch, and then at 1:00 pm

, we have birthday facials and massages, which is perfect because we'll be relaxed enough for 5:00 pm, which is my birthday skydive Rachel, you have to jump this time We'll top it all off with a quick flight to Vegas, which brings me to tomorrow for my birthday dinner, my birthday seance, and my surprise birthday party

Got it? Great Get your credit cards ready And, break Oh yeah, okay, I'll just sell my car and quit my job to celebrate your birthday What, are you dumb? Are you dumb? Honestly I've had periods that last less time than you're birthday celebration

And I have a heavy flow Yeah, I can tell this is gonna be one of those videos where I act crazy Get it together Number two, the Birthday Month Monster And straight up, these people were definitely neglected as children, because they just crave attention and celebrate their birthday for an entire month

And don't be confused, it's a party for one It's not even like their friends are going up and like, "Yo, yo, yo, it's your birthday coming up" No, no, no It's just them reminding everyone in their path that once upon a time, they were born Somebody give this person a cookie for such a unique achievement

I will take the veggie burger with Brussels sprouts Actually, you know what, make it fries You know, what the hell, make it a large It's my birthday month I'm sorry officer, I know the light was red, but to be fair, it is my birthday month, so

Babe, can you massage my feet, it's my birthday month It's called a birthday, not a birth month If you celebrate half of your birthday in the fall and the other half in winter, you need to calm the F down Number three, shh, the Silent Birthday Now even though I just spent the past couple minutes complaining about people that celebrate their birthday too much, it's also annoying when you come across someone who doesn't mention it at all

Like homie, one out of a bazillion spermies swam and hit the jackpot At least have a cupcake about it Don't just sit there and let us treat you like a normal, non-birthday peasant You need to make these things clear, okay, so I can yell at you tomorrow, like a considerate human being It's your fault I'm rude

(clattering) I texted you this morning, you didn't reply – I'm sorry, I must have missed it – Yeah, well I needed a ride to work – Well, I'll give you a ride tomorrow – Oh, okay, well a ride tomorrow doesn't help me today, now does it? – Okay

– And honestly, I didn't wanna say anything, but today's the day, F it You're a bad friend – I'm sorry, I'll try to be better – Whatever – Yo, man

Happy birthday – Thanks, dude – Yo, JK, happy birthday, bro, you see how I got you, there

I knew it was June 2nd, come on – It's March – What? – This month is March – Aight Number four, the Half-Way Birthday

You ever hear someone say some dumb crap like, – Pst, there's only six more months til my birthday – Okay Should I give you half a hug and give half a damn? Six months is a long time I mean like anything could happen in six months I don't know what you bragging about

Like you could die I'm just saying Or hear someone say something like, "Oh yeah, I'm 22 and a half" I can't be friends with someone who voluntarily does fractions What the F? We're doing halves now? It just makes no bloody sense, okay? It's either your birthday or it's not

Number five, the Baeday Celebration Ah ha! Now this is the person that just, you know what, F it, self explanatory, just go to the skit So somebody's birthday's coming up What are you gonna do? – I'm going to dinner with Macy – Okay, well what about the night before

– Macy and I are going to the movies – Okay, what about the weekend – Visiting Macy's parents – Okay, well, maybe I'll just visit your work – Sure

– Cool, where do you work? – Macy's – Cute Hi, hello, other people exist and would like to celebrate your existence, too And to be honest, if you don't have a birthday party, my Insta stories gonna be looking hella dry How else am I supposed to take that video with music playing and us looking all hot just looking into the camera like

What, you think that just happens on a regular day that's not someone's birthday? Hell no Like I know you want that birthday sex, birthday sex, but I feel like there's nine other birthday songs you're completely forgetting about Not to mention, I like cake

I want cake Cake, cake, cake, wait, wait What that song also about sex? No, cake? Is cake sex now? Is everything just sex? Cake? Cake? Is it cake, is cake sex? Is cake sex? (banging) (sparkly music) (popping) Yo, did you like this video? Well let me know by giving me a thumb's up and sharing this video with someone who has a birthday coming up and be like, this you by the way Last video right over there, second vlog channel there, make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday and I want you to be there One love, Superwoman

That is a wrap And zoop Stop humping my leg Actually it's aight (laughing)

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