Types of People in Horror Movies

Forget about all your stresses and laugh with me for a few minutes *magic rainbow unicorn noises ayeee* What up everyone it's your girl Superwoman and if you know anything about me You know I love horror movies mostly because when I say horror movies people think I'm saying "whore" movies And that's just like a completely different genre, but ya know just adds to the fun

Let's faceplant right into it! Number 1 I'm a colored woman *GUNSHOT* *gasping* what the F! I didn't even make it to the opening credits You were only here so we can say we had a diverse cast! Since the beginning of time colored people have been the first people to die in horror movies That's not new information but as a colored person This is why I personally find it so amusing when a brown person dies on screen so quickly in the stupidest and most basic way Hoe this brown kid's parents probably immigrated from across the world took seven flights and three ships to get to this new country

Probably had to deal with the wasteyutes at customs Had to bribe them, had to find a new job because they were told that their degrees were now worth nothing Had to learn a new language, a new culture, a new way of life! And then had a wasteyute kid and that brown waste yute kid probably got whooped if he or she ever wore a tank top if he or she didn't get straight A's okay? Had to deal with racism! And now lives in the world where Trump is a thing and this kid with that background for those horrific thingsis gonna see a dollar store scary mask and get stabbed with a butter knife in a horror movie?! NAH How??!! Like yeah, we survived slavery and racism like that mother-effer right there on the screen mask? Yeah, he gonna be the death of me *phone ringtone* Hello? Who is this? It's Kimberly

Is anyone else there? *Kyle I mean "Bob" stammers* This- this is Bob Bob? Ugh! Is there like a Jamal or something there? Erhe's in the washroom

I'll call back in 5 minutes Number two: The Pothead Horror movies always have one person that's the druggie and he always looks the same, okay? He's always scruffy wearing some hot mess clothes a straight up scrub *sings scrubs by TLC* What was I doing again? Here's the thing, right? No one else in the movie ever takes this druggie seriously, cuz its just like, "Oh you! Be quiet with your theories You can't be right You smoke marijuana!" And I'm just like, "Girl you think all these geniuses that make all these hit TV shows are just "creative"?! Stop

" But here's the thing- the druggie is always right! *druggie whispers* Dude, I don't think we should be here Oh Pothead Pat, you're so funny I'm serious! I feel like an evil presence Like we've awakened something, man! Oh yeah, is her name Mary Jane? No! Listen to me I literally hear someone coming

*mockingly* Oh! look at me my name is Pat, and I do drugs Everyone's trying to kill me *makes a face* We're all gonna die! And it's gonna be beca- *Screams* Do you have any snacks? Number three: the obvious friend Horror movies that involve some sort of mystery killer always drive me insane because more often than not is the main characters Naive as f actions that gets everyone killed She's gonna Have a group of friends people are gonna start dying So she's gonna stop trusting everyone except for her one close friend who she tells everything to Who is 1,000% the killer Here's an idea right if there's a killer and the person is clearly within your circle of friends take a vacation Leave why don't you leave that place? I mean the average human leaves a washroom line if there's 2 people ahead of them They're like yo, I gotta piss so bad

Yo, there's two people and I nah f this I'm gonna pee I got a pee bad I gotta be that bad the rip bladder But you can't leave this killer situation just like nah I'm gonna stick around for a bit You know see what's good See what pops off

Are you dumb? R U dumb? R U dumb? R U dumb? R U dumb? You are stupid person I'm so happy I can trust you Really, cuz I've been giving you suttle hints for the past hour that I'm the bad guy I just feel like I don't know who anyone is anymore Killed all those other people that we're trying to warn you as well I Just wish I knew who was after me I mean to be fair You've never even seen the killer and I on the same frame I'm sorry this is all because of your lack of attention to detail Can you stay the night? I just- I don't feel safe

Where did I put my gun? It's on the table Ah! Also, do you ever think we could be like more than friends? Number four The weird person Okay, well, I'm gonna need some halls after that now Now, this is the person that the movie people want you to believe is the killer and to be honest you should believe is the killer because they're always doing some weird crap I can explain *pen scribbling* Don't trust everyone you meet Don't trust everything you hear So you're definitely the killer Noooo no no no no, no no But then this happens You know the weird creepy guy who does all the weird have creepy things? Yeah, he's not the killer Wait let me get this straight The dude that's always around the people who have been killed that has the blood all over his hands He's not the killer? What- why is he there? What the f is he? What is he? Some sort of like menstruation assistant Like I don't understand because here's the question that no one seems to ask at the end of the movie Hey you why were you doing all that weird crap? If he's not the killer does no one agree that We should still be concerned that he does all this weird crap like we can't be friends with him either way Number 5 that's The scary ghost by far my favorite character in any scary movie I'm talking the demon, the spirit, the ghost that is terrorizing everyone always lurking around Haunting you making you feel all scared and until you Actually see the face of a ghost and that ish turns into a comedy movie or real quick My parents out of town Did you wanna come over *suspense music* Hello who's there? Get out of my HOUSE *More Screams* *chuckles* Wait, what the f is wrong with your face? *Even more screams* You need some botox You look like a freaking moron oh my I need to get this hold on wait sorry Do the, do the thing again Do the scary thing again, RAAA! Do it again

*Even more screams* You're so stupid You look so stupid *More Screaming* Yo, yo, check this out Push me edge, all my friends are dead Push me to the edge, all my friends are dead

*Makes possessed demon noise* Thank you post-production or you know what lack thereof for allowing me to laugh in the face of evil This happens in every horror movie Always the same thing they show me the scary ghosts, and it's the same face It's like they were yawning and then froze halfway, just like Is that not the face of every ghost? Just like yo when you see that hands and everything you like damn son daamn I'm scured And then you see the ghost and they're like *Zombie noise* *zombie noise* *CLAP* *GASP* I'm sorry, I'm sor *Makes another zombie noise* Number six the survivor I'm a survivor I ain't gonna give up I'm gonna work harder Is that? Lyricscom where you at? so the main character is about to die okay? Everything's going wrong The killer's about to win it would take a miracle for this main character to survive right now, and what happens this *Chainsaw noise and screams* GUNSHOT Pot head Pat! I thought you died! I survived! But I saw you die! I didn't But I saw him rip your head off! Wasn't me Saw him stab you in the eyeball Wasn't me Even saw you in a casket Wasn't me We even got it on camera Wasn't me

Does that mean Jamal's alive too? No he died from a paper cut *MORE SCREAMING* NO NOOO We were so diverse! There is no possible way that this dude is still alive like I saw your limbs get ripped off I saw a chainsaw take off your face You just gonna show up last minute like nah I'm alive I swear I'm like how and also then where you been you died in the first act this is the end of the movie Where the hell have you been how are you so persistent like what are you an iOS update? Why are you still here and showing up? Number 7: the instigator You know when you're like already a little bit too tipsy in the club and you like you I need to be responsible no One else give me any more drinks no more drinks and then your friend comes Yo, take one more shot I promise it'll be fine you take the shot in the next morning You wake up next your cousin What? Me neither, me neither, but yo that friend that gets you too drunk And makes bad choices that mother effer is the same one in horror movies that always get you to make stupid choices We should split up Quick, let's hide upstairs I think I heard a scream downstairs

Me too We should definitelyhave sex Two questions number one: are you dumb? Are you dumb? are You dumb are you dumb? Number two: Why do people listen to you like clearly your priorities are so whack that in the face of danger you don't know how to make responsible dis Someone breaking into my house right now *In a very loud whisper* YO, FREAK, YO hold on I need to call the cops Actually, you know, hold on, wait wait wait Think someone's breaking into my house I want to vlog as you guys can see in case I die please subscribe subscribe subscribe right now Oh my god this is crazy, let me pose for a thumbnail I'm gonna go check that out Hold up Last person who dies in a horror movie the people that don't subscribe to my channel and stop chain mail Then ghost will haunt you if you like honestly man Just subscribe you know why cuz it's free and there's no reason not to you're not gonna die But like it would make me happy so subscribe if you hit this Bell thing – the message is graphic I made apparently you got notified when I upload a video let me know if that works down comments below because I would like to know I'm trying to make my videos more inclusive for Everyone and all the unicorns around the world so if you go down below in the description, there is something that says translate this Video As you know my videos do have English closed captions where I would love to have closed caption that as many languages as possible So more people can enjoy our video, so if you speak another language And you would like to translate this video the option exists down below Please spread the word so everyone can enjoy A little laugh

Okay go to the end card Get out of here! Ugh does anyone have any Allegra, I get allergies under this mask Dude I don't think we should be here man One more time, this mother effing phone *MORE SCREAMS* My perm, hold on *SINGS "all my friends are dead, push me to the edge all my friends are dead, push me to the edge, all my friends are dead, push me to the edge* DAAB You like this video this is how you can let me know: give me a thumbs up and everyone says it But like I really want you to do it my last video is right over there I transform into Drake and go trick-or-treating my second vlog channels right over there well We hustle harder every day make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday one love superwoman that is a wrap and zoop <3

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.