Types of People at Airports

♫ Where in the world is Superwoman today – Hyderabad, India (neighing and hooves beating) What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman and yes I am in India right now for my book tour

Right off the bat, shameless plug I'm also going to all of these other places To get your tickets, link is in the description wwwLillySinghBook

com/tour Just saying Okay, enough of that Now because I'm traveling so much, I've been in airports a lot and airports are always fun said no one ever JK JK

They're all right I mean I guess it depends if there's a McDonald's Anyways, here are the types of people you will for sure see in airports Number one, the liquid smugglers So you're waiting in the security line, right? Waiting to put your stuff onto the belt and walk to the machine which by the way is for sure giving all of us some sort of disease

I can't wait until 2050 where we all just have tails for no reason But anyways, you're about to walk through this machine and the most annoying thing about this entire process is that person who works there that just sounds like a robot and is all like, "All right people "I need laptops out by themselves, "shoes off, everything out of your pockets "No water bottles or liquids in your bags "and stay with your bin "and push your bin into the machine" This person annoys me so much because they're so monotone and repetitive But you know who's more annoying than this person? The goddamn passenger that ignores everything this person is saying

I really don't understand Okay, there's a sign that tells you the rules There's a real life person yelling out the rules How are you confused? Because straight up everything around you is just like "Laptops by themselves" And you step up to the spot like "Ready

" "Shoes off" "Ready" "No water bottles" "Ready" And without fail, every single time, the entire line will be held up because not only will someone have a water bottle in their backpack, they're gonna argue about it

Just like "What do you mean? "It's just water "Nobody told me about the water bottles "I was never warned about the water bottles" And I'm just standing there with my goddamn bin since you were warned about the water more than the poor people on the goddamn Titanic Get the F out of here

Hurry up to the lines, so I'll go through this machine and get a tail, be mother effing Avatar up the joint Okay, the heat is getting to my head Number two, evil airline staff Here's the thing about airline staff, right? Is they're either Mother Teresa or Voldemort Okay, there's no in-between

It's either nice or pure evil You walk up to the little kiosk in the airport where you gotta give your bags and check in and you're in a great mood Okay, you're like I'm at the airport, I'm about to go on a vacay Let me go up to this person and be like "Hi, how are you?" And then that chick behind the counter's just like "Welcome to your tape" Because, straight up, I make it a point to be really nice to that person that's checking me in and taking my bags because I know she's about to weigh my suitcase and let's be real, my suitcase is 100% overweight

My makeup bag alone weighs like 20 pounds It's filled with all those lip glosses I never use So I'm just like "Hi, great day! "How was your day? "Look how personable I am "Don't look at the scale, look at me "Look how long my hair is

" Now the limit is 50 pounds and I am overjoyed when I see my suitcase is 501 and I'm like, my god, I'm such a light packer until this chick says to me, "Ooh, that'll be a hundred dollars overweight charge" And I'm just like, "A wha? "Overweight? "Girl, I will open up my suitcase "and take out a single Q-tip, okay? "Don't be trippin' "You can't let 01 slide?" It's just a fact, some airline staff want to make your life hell

Just like, "Yes, Ma'am, here's your boarding pass "If you'd like a seatbelt with your seats "that'll be an additional $60 "Oh what's that? What's that? "Sorry, speak up, Sir "Oh, you're vegetarian? "Well, we only serve steak so "Oh, you requested a window seat? Okay "Here's a middle seat in the middle of the plane "with a seat that doesn't recline "Bye now!" Number three, doodlers So right before you walk into the security line, you go and give your passport and your boarding pass to someone who is sitting in that little booth and they check your documents

They take a pen and they scribble something on your boarding pass and I cannot be the only person that's wondering, "What the F are you writing?" They literally circle random things and now I'm stressed because the markings on my boarding pass do not look like my friend's boarding pass and I'm convinced they 100% have flagged me That's right You know why? Because of my skin It's dry But honestly, I don't think it means anything

I think they just all make it up and it's a scam to make it look like they have a process when they really don't Straight up they're probably just like, "Okay Hi Yes, Ma'am "Circle, circle

"Triangle "Let me pretend to look up and match her face "even though I'm on the wrong page here "Okay, dot dot "Now I've got my cootie shot "Alright

Here you go, Ma'am "Actually no, wait one second, sorry "Hashtag, that's right "Because of the dry skin" (laughing) My skin is really dry though with the traveling

What the hell is this? Hotels have the weirdest lotions Just like cranberry citrus lemon pepper cotton candy butt hole Alright, back to the video Number four, baggage bullies So you've landed, you've gone through customs and now you're going to pick up your luggage

The moment you touch your suitcase you can expect 17 porter people, baggage people, to come and offer you to help with your bags Now depending on which country you're in, these people can be a little bit more persistent because in some places around the world, these people will straight up harass you until you let them help you I will just be like, "Oh no, I'm fine "It's okay" And they'll be like, "Ma'am

" "No, I'm fine, I'm fine Don't help me" "Ma'am, bags" "No, I'm good I really don't need any help

" "Give me your bags" And even though I've said no like three, four times somehow this man is now holding my bag and I'm like "Fine! Help me with my bags "I simply cannot manage" And even when you try asking them Like, "How much is it gonna be? "What's the fee?" They will never answer you

"Oh, don't worry We'll figure it out" ♫ La la la ♫ La la la with your bags And then straight up, the person helping me with my bags will be like, "That'll be $20" Where was the agreement of sale? Where was the point of transaction? Why am I getting robbed right now? Obviously I'm going to give them the money

I'm not trying to piss off nobody in no foreign country and get taken My dad ain't Liam Neeson Call my dad, just be like "Dad, I've been taken" He just like, "You getting married?" Number five, the walking dead Carl! Now there are two places in the world I feel like you can find sleep-deprived soulless people

Number one is in your school library and number two is in the airport These are the people that are catching that six am flight, had to wake up three am

, walking through the airport, holding their pillow, wearing their PJs, not giving a shred of an F Not only are they walking like zombies but they will take every opportunity to get a nap even if it's for like four minutes and I cannot stress how much I am this person I get to my gate and I'm like "Yo, hold up, we got 13 minutes to spare, yo "Let me catch some REM sleep real quick" Oh

Airports think they're slick They put those armrests, dividing the chairs so that you can't lie down and take a nap I'm like, "Bruh, you don't know me, okay?" I will straight up turn into a contortionist right now to lie down on these seats I've done it before Okay let me put my leg to this armrest right here, okay

Rest my neck on here, balance, curve my spine (laughing) Oh my god, I've done this so many times This explains a lot I'm like this explains a lot And if not, if that doesn't work out? You better believe I will find a creative way to take a nap

You can catch me at the airport just like– (Brahms' Lullaby) (snoring) But straight up, I love airports because I love traveling and I loved meeting all of you on tour It is literally my favorite thing to do Speaking of which, aside from the tour, if you haven't got my book yet, it is available literally almost everywhere in the world and in bookstores or you can go to wwwLillySinghBookcom

I'm so happy to announce it is a New York Times bestseller for the third week in a row and I would love to keep this momentum going Don't listen to me and read the reviews I feel like people really really like the book So if you want the book you can get the book That's all

Okay, bye (yelling) Namaste I hope you enjoyed that video If you did, yo, give it a thumbs up I'm so sorry I've been missing uploads

It's really hard with the WiFi and the tour but no excuses Last video right over there Vlog channel vlog Tour vlogs right there Make sure you subscribe 'cause I make new videos every Monday and Thursday

One love, Superwoman That is a wrap and super! I have to go to my show

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