True Stories About My Real Family (Indian Struggles)

– Yeah, you know the family characters I do on my channel are not real They're an exaggeration okay, now I'm gonna tell you that my real family is just as crazy

(upbeat music) Straight up, growing up with immigrant parents, means you get in trouble for some pretty weird things Just one time I opened the fridge, right? Hot day, parched, thirsty, I open the fridge, I see a gleaming bottle of water bang at the back of the fridge and I'm just like give me So what do I do? I crack that sucker open and I start drinking and I swear to God, my mom walks into the room like (gasping) Yeah you good fam? And I kid you not, she's like, "What the bloody hell you doing? How'd you don't know that's a holy water?" Say what now? You mean to tell me that this normal as eff, Dasani looking mother effing water bottle in the fridge is holy water? First of all, how am I supposed to know that? Second of all what the eff are you talking about? So apparently we had a prayer at our house and because the water was present at said prayer, the water was now holy Nothing else that was there in the room is holy Not my phone, not my scrunchie and not my sock and that actually has holes in it, it's holy

(snickers) I'm dumb The way my mom acted about that was like honestly I'm surprised she's not using the water bottle right now to try to cure COVID Then I ask her, I'm like, "What do you do with the holy water?" and she goes, "I put a little bit in our food every day" How is that different from me drinking it? On the note of prayer, let me just tell you that I've had my fair share of awkward experiences and I don't know whatever religion you grew up with, maybe you can relate Over the years, my family's had all types of prayers

You know, the type where they come to your house, the type in the temple One time she did a prayer specifically for me, I don't know why, maybe she had no faith in my future Look at me now But it was like a hybrid prayer, you know, it was like a two religions mashing it and it you were to sort of sit down next to the priest who's called a Pandit because it was like a Hindu Sikh mashup And he started talking to me in like Hindi/Punjabi, basically two languages that I know but not well enough if you're speaking 11 miles an hour

And then he goes to me, "Repeat after me" And I'm just like sir? If you've ever been in this situation okay, you cannot look me in the eye and tell me that you knew what the eff was going on because they talk so fast, I have no idea what's happening Okay, I'm just sitting there like (priest praying) (narrator repeating priest's prayer in foreign language) Watermelon, watermelon, (priest continues praying) watermelon, watermelon, watermelon Also, I have no idea what this means and now I have to repeat it in good faith Okay that's like signing a contract that I haven't completely read which I do daily when I upgrade my electronics so I'm fine with this

You know, a lot of people ask me where I get my confidence from and here's the thing, I was raised amongst confidence because hear me when I say there was no one more confident in this world than a Bibi singing Bulleya at an Indian wedding Translation, a grandma singing traditional songs at a wedding I feel traditional songs being sung is common amongst various cultures okay? And the thing is that the old ladies and the older generation, they're like the OGs See because Western culture with say, if you're not good at something or don't have that skill, you should not do that thing but in Indian culture, no no okay? You do the things anyways because you're elder and we have to respect you At every Indian wedding, without fail, there is a Bibi singing her heart out just like (singing mockingly in foreign language) I don't know if those are the actual words but (continues singing in foreign language) (laughing) A rockstar and it doesn't matter how cracked that voice is, you better sit there and pretend like this is the headline act at Coachella

That's bloody confidence okay (sings mockingly in foreign language) And I just feel so bad cause I'm like, "Bibi, do you want some water?" My mom's just like, that's holy water (chuckles) That really hurt Okay, I have a confession I was like 25 years old when I learned that not everyone's mother alters their clothes

No, but like straight up, I don't know a single Indian auntie who doesn't own a sewing machine and have a blue cookie tin full of buttons I don't know one So then I grew up thinking that every kid's mom does this for them I'm up in high school, I'm up in these hallways, talking to Jessica like, "Ou Jessica, why aren't your pants handled? Get your mom to hit that one time with the Singer" And then Jessica hits me with the, "Oh, yeah, oh my God, I have to go to the mall to get them altered" (laughing sarcastically) And I'm just like, "What are you talking about?" You're telling me that you're gonna go to the mall to pay someone to alter your clothes, that's like me going to the mall and paying someone to nag me like what are mothers for? You see because all Indian aunties in the history of life, know how to sew, they have so much practice cause when you buy Indian clothes, you could buy a size three but then you turn it inside out and there's enough fabric to make it a size 10 okay

Here's the real joke though, whether it's a size three or a size 10, you're still about to get stuck in it Yeah, fun fact, women's Indian's clothes, impossible to take off Okay, you about to be more stuck than the Bindi glue on my mirror (cackles) Okay, I understand that was a very Indian reference and you might not get it, let me translate to something more applicable You're about to get more stuck than literally anything you drop between your car seat (car seat buzzing) Can I tell you that that wasn't even acting, I legit got stuck

I don't know what it is about Indian parents that has caused them to loose all types of pain or heat receptors on their body but it's crazy My mom will legit never think her tea is hot enough Doesn't matter what temperature that ish is, it's never hot enough When I was young, I had a very simple nighttime routine I would go down to the kitchen, heat up my mom some milk, put in some Ovaltine, mix that ish and give it to her every night, doesn't matter if it was 140 degrees, milk and Ovaltine

And I had to do it just right, I would sit beside the microwave watching the milk just like okay, I gotta wait till it boils, I gotta wait till it boils, if it doesn't boil, it's not hot enough and literally just getting rays into my brain watching this milk (laughing) (feet stomping) And then I knew the second the milk started boiling, I would have a window of 20 seconds to take it out, carefully put in the Ovaltine, mix it up and then tiptoe as the milk was full to the brim up the stairs to give her this mug and 99 percent of the time, she would drink it and say, "It's cold" And I'm just like, "How, how is it Mom the mug is melting, okay the steam gave me a facial as I was walking up the stairs

How is it cold?" Like where did your sensory cells go, sensory cells are those I don't know if those are things but you know what I do know, okay, I know that is not goddamn cold And I'm just like holy water

All right, that's all I got If you like this video, yo give it a thumbs up and subscribe, if you haven't subscribed, yeah what is you doing, yo subscribe It's free, hit that button and also I'm not really a thing on YouTube anymore but I'm still gonna do a call to action I know what else you're thinking, my boob sickles don't really match my neck, who has this much foundation to waste? Not I my friends, not I Go to the EN card

(upbeat music) I already said everything I had to say but if you wanna watch my last funny video, it's right over there My second vlog channel where I actually upload real vlog is over there And like I said, yo go ahead and subscribe if you like this video because it's cool to support the people you love One love Lilly, that is a wrap and zoo

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