STUPID THINGS I’VE DONE WHILE DRUNK

– Are you having a good day? I hope you're having a good day, if you're not having a good day, forget about all your worries and let's just vibe out together and be grateful and enjoy life What up everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman and I just came back from Kenya so I didn't have time to figure out an elaborate video, so I thought, "yo, let me just chill out on this wonderful Thursday and just tell you a little bit of a story

" freak, is there makeup on my shirt? I swear to god, you know And let me just prep up by saying that I don't really get drunk that often Says every person who gets drunk very often What up, t-shirt reference! One of you crazies got this for me and I love it To be honest, I started drinking really late in my life, I wasn't one of those rebellious teens that was like drinking

I waited till I was of age and beyond I was that person that was like older, trying to get crunk, all my friends were like married with kids and I'm like, "jager bombs!" so I'm gonna tell you some stories of stupid things I've done while drunk Why two reasons, number one, I can drink while telling this because hello, related props Don't like it? Give me your salty tears, I'll add it to the mix And number two, your homegirl got her period still

My uterus is like, blergh And so I'm like (slurring words) prepare yourself for a whole lot of this

Generally, I'm a happy, fun, affectionate, drunk person okay, do not twisted I am not one of those people that's a hot mess I don't cry about my exes when I'm sober, I sure as hell ain't gonna do it when I'm drunk Story number one So it's my birthday and I rented out this private lounge type area and you know, I was pretty intoxicated but you know, I was still walking in a straight line

A line that's as straight as Ellen DeGeneres And I don't know what came over my mind but I was like, "yo wait, is this my birthday party? Or is this a water fight?" I decided it was the latter, so I was like, "yo mother effers, I'm about to win my birthday water fight" so everyone's all dressed up really, really nice and one of my friends, he's wearing like a three piece suit in the corner and I was like, oh! So I pick up a water bottle in the middle of this fancy party, I unscrew it, I walk up to him and I'm like, "yo, guess who's about to win?" I dumped the entire water bottle on his head and everyone's like, "what are you doing?" and I was like, "oh wait, is this not a water fight?" because in my brain, I was like, "yo, you be stupid not to do this" but that's nothing compared to story number two So a couple years ago, I had a house party as I often do for my birthday because you know, then there's no parking, everyone come casual, wearing track pants and it's open bar because yo, I got a lot of alcohol at my house

Here's a thing about birthdays with an open bar, because it's your birthday, everyone's like, "yo, we need to have a shot with you" and we have like 50, 60 people there There's 50, 60 people that are like, "I'm gonna have a shot with you" and you know me, I'm like, "okay, okay, okay, okay" just like the crunk Oprah, just like, you get a shot, you get a shot, you get a shot

So after many shots and many mixing of drinks, inevitably, I got really drunk Fun fact, my parents were also at this party So, very early in the night, I knocked the F out, not in front of everyone, my friend saw me wobbling around, they took me to my room and put me to bed Let's just say, God bless my friends, y'all are real ones, my friends are the type of people that like, put me in the washroom, rubbing my back Be like, "yo, if you gonna be sick, be sick now because your mom's coming

" mom knock on the door like, "Lilly, what the bloody hell happening?" my friend's just like, "oh no, Lilly's in the washroom Yeah no, she was just washing, I was helping her take off her lashes" I'm just in the corner like, (retching noises) my friend's like, "yeah, no, no, she's exfoliating her skin" no aunty, you know what happened, okay, Lilly tripped right and her jeans ripped so she decides to make a YouTube tutorial about distressed jeans, so she's just recording that right now in the washroom She actually, on a business call, she working

(retching noises) yeah, you know, that's her outro, she's asking them to subscribe My friend just pulling out every lie in the book Eventually, my parents caught on, I went to bed, super, super early Here's the funny part, that year Youtube had surprised me with this really awesome cake It was like a unicorn and skittles, amazing thing

I felt so bad, because I went to bed and woke up in the morning being like, "oh my god, I got so drunk and knocked out and I didn't even cut this cake and in Indian families, cutting the cake is everything If you don't cut the cake, there's no birthday So I woke up and felt like crap for at least six hours until I finally got out of bed, went through my phone and found 30 pictures of me cutting the cake Not only did I cut the cake, but there was a whole bunch of people I messaged, being like, "yo, you didn't even come to my birthday, thanks for letting me know" I had a picture with all of them because they were there the whole night and I talked to them

Another t-shirt reference There's another time where I was at a YouTube event and I licked Tyler Oakley To be honest, I wasn't even that drunk, I was like, a little, I had like one drink, I was a little tipsy, I just wanted to taste the rainbow Story number four, so, sometimes me and my friend who shall remain unnamed, her name's Anoshini We do stupid weird things, friends do

So every once in a while, we pretend to pick each other's nose What, don't judge me! We're really hot So one time we were at an event and we were a little bit intoxicated so, we were like, "yo, we dancing" she does this thing, when you krump, you don't realize the strength you have, you're invincible in these moments So she's teasing me, I'm teasing her, pick your nose, pick your nose, this girl sticks her finger all the way up my nose

She basically tickled my brain and I was just like, (gasps) and she's like, "what happened, what happened?" I go like this, blood, everywhere at this wedding reception, I'm wearing a sari, running, like a Bollywood movie to the washrooms (singing in foreign language) just blood everywhere! Funniest part of this whole story, you see her run after me in her sari, she just like Would like tissues, Lilly, Lilly! I mean, but how many people can say that they got drunk and picked their friend's nose until they bled, not many

Let's be real, this is YouTube There's gonna be at least 10 comments below being like, "I thought I was the only one" YouTube, where weirdos unite! Here's the thing, if you're drunk, you know this and if you've never drank before, let me educate you When you're intoxicated, you feel invincible Normal pains do not hurt you, you're like, "yo Emma, hold out, wait

Am I Ironman?" so I was dancing on my birthday party and here's the thing, Brown people, this is a boring party The party gets lit when you're on somebody's shoulders just like (singing in foreign language) so I am literally being lifted by two of my friends and sitting on their shoulders Obviously, the two guys holding me are also drunk As I'm dancing in the air and being carried by two drunk men, my head smacks against the exit sign of the building Literally like

(cracking sound) and everyone's like, "oh!" what did I do? Eh! (sings in foreign language) I didn't even feel it, I was unfazed Story number five, six? Five, six? Yo, what am I, am I a mathematician, I don't know, figure it out This story is actually not something stupid I've done while drunk, it's something stupid that one of you has done while drunk

So I'm out with my friends, saying overnight at a hotel, about to go out, about to party and I decided not to take my phone because I'm like, "I'm not trying to be this person Takes my phone to a club and loses it and is crying, I need pictures, all my pictures" that's right kids, if you do something without taking a picture, it still happened

So I leave my phone at night, I go out, I have a great time, I come back, I see like 10 missed calls from my mom and I'm like You know you see 10 missed calls from your mom, it ain't ever good news So I call at like, four in the morning, I'm like, "mom, mom, what's wrong, you gave me so many missed calls

" she starts yelling at me! "you're dumb and you're stupid, I know you're drunk!" I'm like, "what the hell, you talking about, I'm here, I'm sober, I didn't bring my phone to the club, I was responsible" and she's like, you called me while drunk, crying and swearing at me And I'm like, "pardon moi?" apparently, one of my fans drunk or pretending to be drunk, called my house, pretending to be me To be honest though, my mom didn't believe it was me because hello, if I'm drunk, why would I be calling my mom of all people, that was the first sign My mom just like, "oh no, okay, if this was really Lilly and she was drunk, she would be telling me she was at the library, doing an all girls group assignment

she wouldn't be calling me, this ho would be pretending to be sober, lying to me" and I'm like, "mom, you right, you so right You know me so well, I love you" and this is like, near the end of the video so I guess I should probably be like, "yo, disclaimer, disclaimer, and stuff, drink responsibly, don't drink underage, you know, stay in school, don't litter, save the whales!" also, you should subscribe, I mean this one is significantly less important than all the things I said previously, but you already here Do the thing, click the button, the subscribe bell thing you do, click the bell thing, everything that people say at the end of videos where they, they video so, everyone videos so well

Also wait, before you go, look at this thing, this design thing that just came on screen, are you kidding me? That's my Twitter and Instagram, why you slacking? It's lit over there, squad AF, fleeky? Okay, go to the end card, get out of here Oh wait, before you go, don't think about it, wait a second, I know you do this a lot, you watch YouTube videos and you click away on all those suggested videos over there, and you're like, "oh, let me click those" nah, first of all, give us a thumbs up, okay? Second of all, similar videos right over there, my second vlog channel, do you know how awesome it is? It's right over there, click that, make sure you're subscribed, because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday Just do it, one love, superwoman, that is a wrap and zoop!

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