Skipping School Tests

– Every waste yout about to relate to this video (magical shimmer) (horse whinnying and trotting) What up everyone it's ya girl Superwoman! And I'm gonna be real, back in the day when I was in school, I was actually a very successful student, okay? I got good grades, I worked hard on my assignments, etc

But, I had one kryptonite and that was my love for sleep Straight up, if I had a dollar for every time I chose sleep over school I would be in Lil Wayne's crew being like, "Young moolah baby" also not making any damn sense The problem was, the version of Lilly that set the alarm clock at night was very delusional Okay, I need to leave at 10 because of traffic, so 9:30 Although, I do think it's important to have a complete breakfast with all four food groups, so nine

And you know what, I really could benefit from morning yoga So 8:30 You know what, let's just say 8:00 am to be safe

I have a really good feeling about this (sigh) Ho shut the eff up! Talking 'bout breakfast In the four years of university I legit had breakfast twice And both times it was because I swallowed my gum Girl, you know damn well what's gonna happen the next morning

(upbeat music) Here's the thing, right, I can shut off an alarm clock without even realizing it Like I will legit shut off my alarm without even interrupting my REM sleep It's just second nature at this point Even those apps that they have made for people like me that are like, "Your alarm won't turn off unless you "answer this mathematical question" That doesn't work on me because when it's 8:00 a

m and you love sleep as much as I do, I am Pythagorean And this is my goddamn theorem (upbeat music) Carry the one Y equals mx plus b Hypotenuse

(groan) I before e except after c (sigh) Hey, a little bed mass in bed, badum tish Hm, when the only way you can get your ex in bed is through a math equation Shut up zoomed-in Lilly! And once I actually figure out where I am and what's happening, morning Lilly can literally convince herself of anything (upbeat music) (groan) Wait, what's that noise? Oh, my alarm Eight? Why did I set it for eight? Is it going off again? Oh, crap, wait I have a test, that I can think about in 10 minutes

And 10 more minutes One last time Ugh, fine Actually wait, it's Monday morning There's probably like no traffic

I'll just sleep more and drive faster And grab breakfast on the way And I'm not gonna do my makeup Yeah, I love myself just the way I am Also, summer school might be really fun, just saying

Ugh, okay I should get up, I'm gonna be late Although, wait, do you really wanna be someone who believes in the construct of time? Ugh, is this how you wanna live your life? Don't you deserve a break for your mental health? Maybe school is just an institution meant to enslave you Rebel against the system, Lilly! You're not a puppet! Eff the test, eff school, eff the system My name is Lilly Singh and I'm in control of my own destiny! – Yo, you missed a test – Hi, Dr

Patel? True story I probably got like 30 doctors' notes in my university career and I feel like all students have this deep-rooted ability to act because of this process I swear to god if I could do as well in my auditions as I have done in doctors' offices, I would be a star okay? I would be in like Lord of the Rings or something As the fat hobbit? No, as like Frodo or something Hm? What's that fatty, you say you want fro-yo? Can you stop? Okay fine, I'm kidding, I actually saw you on TV the other day, and you did really good Really, where? A commercial for SeaWorld, effin' Shamu

(groan) But straight up, I would step into the doctor's office like okay, what is my motivation, what is my backstory? And honestly I've become a pro because I know exactly which key elements are needed to lie to your doctor Blame a sickness that can't be measured I think it's my period, or something I ate (bell chime) (pen click) – Hold random parts of your body in pain – Yeah, I couldn't sleep all night

(bell chime) – Show various symptoms (sneeze) (bell chime) – Excuse me, I'm so sorry – Bless you – Oh my god, I'm so sorry (cough) You were saying? – Poor thing

– And always ask for a tissue – Excuse me, sir, can I just grab a tissue? – Of course – Yeah, thank you (bell chime) Ugh, my nose, ugh You gotta sell your sickness, boo

Okay, I don't care if you walk into the doctor's office like "Yo, I just have cramps", you better be limping into that office holding Vicks Vaporub with an eye patch, okay? We going all the way here, and then boom, doctor's note for $75 Here's the thing, right, it's a two-way business and both parties, they know what's up – [Woman] What was wrong with that one? – Missed her test, probably slept in Charged her $50, gave her a discount She's a frequent customer

– By third year of university I'd walk into that doctor's office just like "Yo, Doctor P, what's up, "give me the regular Let's switch it up "a little bit though, what do you think about, like, appendicitis?" Obviously, doctors know students are lying That's why they charge them In Canada, you can literally get hit by a car and your healthcare will be free but if you need a doctor's note, boom $100 Like ho, you gon' pay for these lies

Honestly the best thing school has ever taught me is how to BS my way out of any situation Ugh, I should probably sleep early Although, you know what, I feel like I'm ready to become a morning person, yeah I feel like I'm just gonna need less sleep moving forward So yeah, I will watch this movie with you

Wait, let me set my alarm, though Okay gotta leave at 10, so nine, uh no I'm wanna totally redeem myself for the whole yoga thing Eight, 8:00 am

, perfect I have a great feeling about this Every single night You wanna know what happens next? (vinyl record rewind sound) (upbeat music) What's up bootyful? If you like this video give it a thumbs up, like actually do it, like believe it or not, that actually matters to me My last video is over there, bloopers for this video, right over there, subscribe! Because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday and that also like, you know, that makes me feel good and stuff yo, you know what I mean? One love Superwoman, that is a wrap and zoop!

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