My Friends Try To Get Me Laid

– Based on a true story (galloping) (horse neighing) (logo swooshes) What up, everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman

And I think it's pretty obvious I'm a workaholic Like I think that's pretty clear I'm not saying that's good or bad, it is what it is, just like ♪ When will my reflection show ♪ ♪ Who I am inside ♪ Already does I'm tired and I work a lot, and to be honest, it doesn't bother me, but for some reason, it really bothers my friends They be coming up to me all the time and saying things like, "Don't you wanna be happy?" "Aren't you lonely?" "You just need to get out more

" And I'm just standing there, like, real talk, all I need to not be lonely is two AA batteries for my remote What were you thinking? Dirty The point is, my friends try to force me to go on dates all the time – Hey, what are you doing today? – Netflix – Lilly, it's Friday, okay? Go out

– No, outside doesn't have my couch – Whatever Hey, can I borrow your phone? – What happened to yours? – Oh my god, hurry up It's an emergency – Oh, Jesus

God, here Don't go through my pictures – I've already seen pictures of your dog Calm down – What are you doing? – Nothing

– You're clearly doing something – Oh, me? Nothing – Tell me what you're doing – Nothing, Here ya go (upbeat music) – Girl, seriously? Also, Grindr's an app for dudes

– Yeah You like dressing up, don't you? – What are you talking about? (upbeat music) Oh Yo, true story, I have never once in my life used a dating app I don't know what it is I just feel like if I use a dating app, I'm gonna get murdered

And I know what you're thinking, there's lots of people that tell these lovey dovey stories, like, oh my god, me and my husband, we met on Tinder, and it was, no I don't care According to me, there's two types of people: those who don't use dating apps and those who get murdered And forget the apps My friends, just in general, cannot let me enter any social establishment without trying to get me the d

Doritos What were you thinking? Dirty – We're gonna find you a man tonight – No, I already told you I don't need a man

– Girl, don't play yourself – What? – You're either gonna find yourself a man tonight, or face your ex tomorrow Science is not on your side, girl – No, I just wanna chill Don't do anything stupid, please

– Oh, hey How are you? This is my friend – Here we go – And honestly, it's like, weird She's so flexible

– You know what I love about her? She doesn't play any games, you know? There's no drama – No, seriously, like her left leg was over here, and her right leg was like all the way over here Yeah, and she was eating a popsicle the whole time – She pays her own bills Got her own bag, has her own car

She drives a Tesla She doesn't drive her car, her car drives her – (laughs) I swear to God, my friends turn into professional liars when they try to brag about me Just like, sis, who you playin', okay? We know that I pulled a hamstring trying to set up this tripod Where you goin' with flexible? But you already know how it goes, okay

Eventually I'm a hear enough Beyonce and have enough alcohol in my system to put my guard down and cave in to the peer pressure But the good news is my friends are there to support me by any means necessary – How you feeling? – I'm good, yeah, I'm good Mhm, yeah – Just shoosh this

– Okay, thank you (cup banging) – Just go over there and dance with him – I'm gonna go over there and I can't, yo, I slept on my side weird and now my leg is like hurting – Stop it Stretch it out

– You got this – No, it's not there It's like a weird place to stretch Oh, what if he doesn't like me? – Sit down – Okay

I can't do this, I can't do this – I swear to God, if you don't just go over there and hook up with him, I'm gonna start a gofundme for your vagina Okay? It's gonna be "spread vagina love" Just go over there – I can do this, I can do this

I'm gonna do it Imma do this And now it's on, I'm warmed up, I'm ready to go I'm trying to make my girls proud like, I know I'm representing y'all right here, I'm trying to do it for you My squad, they got my back but if I slam dunk this, my team is part of the play

(uptempo, dramatic music) – That's my girl – Aye Not only did I pop my booty, no no okay, all of my girls popped their bootys vicariously through my booty popping We're a group of girls, nothing just happens to one person, okay? Everything happens to everyone Just ask menstruation

But here's the thing, right, that was just one night because the next morning, imma go back to my own ways when there's no alcohol and I can't here Beyonce within two kilometer Imma be like "Okay, I don't give a F about anything," I'm checking my email again, I'm making to do list again But my girls, they gon' wildout all over again – Yo, I haven't got my period yet – I think I just go mine

– Ew, stay away from me – Yo, isn't that your dude from the club? – Oh my god, I think so – Come on, let's get him – Let's go – How? We don't even have a car

– Come on – Oh my goodness Faster, let's go Yo, what's up? What's good? You never called I know my friends have good intentions but, hear me when I say, I do not need to be in a relationship

I ain't lonely You know what in fact? You know what I could use instead of a relationship? One night stand That way I'd have something to put my remote on Wait, what were you thinking? Dirty Hope you enjoyed this video

If you can relate because you're the friends or you're me, give this video a thumbs up, share it with all your girls This video was so fun for me to make It's based on a true story through and through Last video there, second vlog channel there Make sure you subscribe

I make new videos every Monday and Thursday One, love, superwoman That is a wrap

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