Lazy Things We All Do

– Welcome to the story of my life (horse clomping) What up everyone, it's your girl, Superwoman, and I work very hard

Straight up, like I make two comedy videos a week, I daily vlog, auditions, shoots, writing, meetings, calls, showering It's a lot, I'm a hustler! What up t-shirt reference! Now that I've got that out of the way, Let me tell you all of my lazy habits Number one, cleaning make-up brushes Now apparently, you're supposed to do this more than once a year Yeah, I don't know

Like I'm pretty busy doing other things, like hiding in a bush in Fortnite and complaining about my acne And a good make-up brush costs like $50, like am I right I know all the makeup gurus are gonna be like $50? That's a steal! But no, for me, fifty dollars for a good make-up brush Fifty dollars for a brush, like is it Laurel, is it Yanny, no, it's neither, it's a scam You're telling me, I'ma buy this expensive brush, and then I have to groom and bathe said brush? For that price, the brush should be giving me a shower, just like yo, not only will you do my blush, okay, you gonna do my blush, shave my legs, and then make me a hot cup of ginger tea

Not to mention, I don't even know how to properly clean a make-up brush without ruining it's bristles, like it starts like this and I wash it and it's like (laughs) Like can't I just rub it against a tic-tac and call it a day? Or, do I now gotta buy a brush cleaner, for the fifty dollar brush, it's madness I tell you! So yeah, for sure my make-up brushes, are fugly (beep) Every day, hundreds of make-up brushes are left dirty Sweat Foundation Blush

Infested with germs Neglected Used And abused It's been nine months since I've been washed

I used to be pink! What the f man, why do I keep breaking out? Number two, wearing sunscreen You see, I have an issue here, okay, I can't accept the fact that I spent most of my childhood, singing a song to Mr Sun, Mr Golden Sun, and now as I've grown up, you have the audacity to say that you're gonna burn my skin? And I need protection from you? Nah-uh, okay, I have decided to unstan Because here's the thing about sunscreen, right, it's annoying, and it's a especially annoying if you have brown skin

(speaking foreign language) , you ask? Because since the beginning of time, sunscreen has never mixed in well, or efficiently with my brown skin (light upbeat music) – [Man] Let's go, you're gonna miss the bus – Yeah, one sec – You missed the test – One sec

– Goodnight – One sec Not to mention, it's super greasy looking, and feeling Finally! And whenever I do wear sunscreen, it ends up making my brown skin look purple (camera clicking) Although side note, I will say that I found a new product, that is actually dope, and not whack

So Olay hit me up and sent me this whips product, and they said it was gonna be a sunscreen that works with my brown skin, and I was like are you sure? So I gave it a test drive on my recent trip to Mexico, and I'm gonna admit, no bs, this is dope! So in this one instance, I'm gonna stop being lazy, and actually use this product, and wear sunscreen, but every other example in this video, no Okay I'm gonna make the same mistake, and then just deal with the consequences Thank you, godspeed Number three, updating my computer Here's the issue with computer updates right, is they give me the opportunity to procrastinate on a silver platter

How are you gonna expect me, me, to make the right decision when you're so easily presenting me with an option to do this task tomorrow Like, is this your first day on Earth? Have you never met a human, you're giving us way too much credit Because of course I don't wanna do this right now, no one wants to do this right now, it's annoying, you gotta click the thing, load the thing, and the thing that does the thing, and then you gotta restart the whole thing, no thanks, I'm for sure gonna do this tomorrow, when I'm a better and more patient person, get outta here – Can I borrow your laptop for a sec? – Yeah, sure – Thanks – Let me just minimize MSN Messenger, sorry

And close Paint, I was working on something, cool Oh, you know let me just minimize Napster too, so it doesn't slow it down There you go – Why don't you just update your computer? – Oh no I am, tomorrow – The internet isn't working

– Huh? Oh, sorry (beeping) (computer static) Oh, he got a phone call, sorry I have to start it again (beeping) Okay until tomorrow I'm fine playing solitaire on Windows 95 Honestly some of the best days are when I won solitaire, you know what I'm talking about, those cards with the little screen like (whirring) You know, honestly that was lit

Number four, washing my face I promise, I'm going to wash my wash my make-up before I sleep I promise, I'm gonna wash my make-up before I sleep! I promise, I'm gonna wash make-up sleep I promise I am for sure going to wash my make-up before I sleep

Damn it I just think it's unrealistic, for the universe to think that I'm gonna go through a day, potentially filled with nonsense and tomfoolery, and then come home with enough capacity and energy to wash my face That's insanity! My pores need to take several seats Rather, evolution just needs to smarten up and find a way to expel my make-up from my face, after a long day, like I just come home, and my make-up just fireballs (whooshing) just off my face, just and just fake-lash fireball (yelling) Not to mention the horrible combination of being lazy, but then also loving white linens

What kind of sick joke is this? Like if you ever need a stunt double, for any of my videos, just use my pillowcase (light music) Ugh, the heck man, why do I keep breaking out? Why do I keep breaking out? Honestly it remains a mystery (thudding) – Yo shoutouts to Olay for making this video possible, straight up, if you wanna dope sunscreen and facial moisturizer get this, 'cause it worked under my make-up, didn't leave me greasy like a samosa, and didn't turn me into Barney SPF 25 son! Otherwise, make sure you subscribe, because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday! One love Superwoman, that is a wrap, and zoop!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.