I’ll see you soon…

– What up, everyone, it's your girl, Lilly, Lilly felt more appropriate for this video, so it's your girl, Lilly (horse hooves clopping) Straight up, I don't want this to be a dramatic video, I don't wanna take myself too seriously and take things too seriously

There are way more important things happening in the world than this YouTube video I just wanna openly communicate with y'all This is not clickbait, I'm not tryin' to get on the Trending page, I'm not tryin' to make a dramatic thumbnail to get views, it's none of that I am genuinely meaning, okay, first, I can't speak English I'm genuinely, I said it again, I genuinely mean everything I'm saying in this video, and the title is not a lie

I am planning to take a break from YouTube Before I get into all of the nitty gritty, I wanna give a shout-outs to creators such as Alicia and Grace, who have announced breaks recently on the platform because, straight up, I was too scared to do this, and I've been living vicariously through creators like this who have taken breaks, and I've been like, oh, they're so brave And their content has really helped me make this video, so shout-outs to all of you for prioritizing your mental health You are a great example, for not only myself, but everyone else And I wanna tell you why, but before I get into all the reasons, I wanna say it, and I wanna emphasize that this is in no way a reflection of how I feel about the platform of YouTube and of Team Super

I love YouTube, I love Team Super This is not about you, this is to do with me And I am forever grateful to YouTube and my fans Like I said, no part of what I say is taking away from that You would have to rip my love for you out of my cold dead hands

Why do I wanna take a break, there's many reasons First and foremost, my mental health I'll be real with y'all, I am mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted I've been doing YouTube consistently for eight years For eight years, I've been putting out videos, and for a lot of those years, I've been doing it twice a week, plus daily logs

It's been a lot I've enjoyed it, I love it, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it has been a lot And I know I'm always about hustling and hustling harder and making to-do lists and being productive, but I'm also about happiness, and I always preach that you should be happy, that you should take care of yourself, and what kind of person would I be if I preached that but didn't actually practice it myself? I don't wanna be a hypocrite I'm being honest with you I could be happier, I am not my optimal happiness right now

I could be mentally healthier I don't feel like I'm completely mentally healthy I think there's a lot going on up here that I need to address that I'm not able to constantly pumping out content Which leads me to the second reason I wanna take a break, my content Straight up, I haven't been super happy with a lot of the content I've created

You know, the thing about YouTube is that in all of its glory, it kind of is a machine, and it makes creators believe that we have to pump out content consistently even at the cost of our life and our mental health and our happiness, because if you don't, then you'll become irrelevant But I've always said that happiness is the most important thing that you will ever fight for Relevance is not You know, like, I have made content so consistently, like I said, and now, I'm coming to the place where I'm like, YouTube has changed so much I don't really completely understand it

I feel like I've just been trying to, like, put on content, put on content, will this work, will this work, and I'm not particularly proud or happy of all of it There's some things I'm definitely proud of, but there's others where I'm like, I'm just doing this because I think I have to on this platform that demands constant content, but it's not really a reflection of me So I want to take a break to get some of my creative energy back and really think about what I want to do, what direction I wanna go, 'cause right now, I am confused Which leads me to three YouTube, I've talked about this before, it's not anything new, but I don't understand it right now, truthfully

It's changed so much, and I wanna really dig deep in my soul and be straight up I know, in the past, I've made comments about, like, people have ruined YouTube or these vloggers have done this and they do all this dramatic stuff, you know, no, take away all that YouTube has changed People have found a way to make it work for them I am not one of those people

And any comments I've made in the past are just salty, honestly It's good when people have found something that works on YouTube, and hopefully, it makes them happy, but whatever currently works on YouTube does not make me happy, and I think the underlying issue there is that whatever works, I'm literally saying, whatever works, what is works, works is subjective Just because something's not on the Trending page, it doesn't have millions of views, does that mean it doesn't work? Is 100,000 people not valid, is 200,000 people not valid? All of these questions are things that float around in my brain and drive me crazy, and that's why I need to take a little bit of a break to truly re-evaluate what I define success as and what I want my legacy to be, because right now, it's not something that I'm proud of Pumping out a bunch of content, trying to figure out how YouTube works, that's, I don't wanna do that Another reason I wanna take a break is, as you know, a couple of months ago, I started my own production company, and I have a lot of other things going on

I do a lot of speaking events, I do a lot of social good work I love folks on GirlLove, I have merch coming out, I have all these things I feel like I haven't been able to put 100% into any one of those things because I'm putting, like, okay, 50% of this, 16 to this, I don't have more time, 70% of that I don't wanna that, I wanna make sure everything I do has my 100% energy and focus so I can be proud of it, and I don't feel like I'm doing that All this to say that I'm not leaving YouTube

I need to emphasize, this is not my, hey, it's been fun, I'm leaving, that's not it I love YouTube way too much, and I believe in the community, more than anything, I believe in the community, all of you, that it has given me And you have helped me in some of my darkest times, and I don't want to abandon you So I'm not making any rules This might be a one-week break, it might be a one-month break, I have no idea

I'm not putting any rules on it I might still do Spice News, we'll see how I feel It's just, it is what it is, I just know, until I decide I'm ready, I'm not gonna be posting any main channel videos or any vlogs just until my soul feels ready to do so A lot of creators don't do this, and I'm assuming, assuming, it's because there's a fear There's a fear that your audience will abandon you and that people will forget all about you, and then you won't be able to get back once you return

I am looking all those fears right in the eye, and I'm having confidence in myself and in you for us to pick up right where we left off, if you would be so gracious with your time and energy Whenever I do come back, I would love for you to be here so we can continue spreading some positive vibes, continue laughing, continue just working on this great energy that we have And I'm really sorry if this break upsets any of you and that you feel like there's a little bit of a void in your day Hopefully, you have other exciting things happening, so it shouldn't feel like much of a void, but I hope you know that I really need this for my sanity, for my happiness, and to just be better I wanna be better

That's it, this is a positive thing I didn't cry, I didn't get emotional because truly, in my heart, I feel this is a positive thing Growth is positive, evolution is positive, taking time for yourself and addressing mental health is positive There's nothing to feel guilty about, there's nothing to feel bad about, it just, it is what it is If you wanna support me, please don't comment below saying, yeah, I agree, your content has sucked for a while, you need this break, just, all I need right now is love and support

So if you're willing to do that and leave a comment, I would be forever grateful for that I love you so much You support every single thing I do I'm gonna come back better than ever, Personally, professionally, creatively In every aspect, I'm going to work on myself

I encourage anyone else out there that is feeling like they're not all mentally there and they're not their optimal happiness to also work on themselves You are the biggest and most important project you will ever work on, I promise you that And so thank you for all of your support This is not good bye, this is a see you later I'm going to go hustle harder on myself

I love you so much (lips smacking), and I will see you soon One love Lilly, that is a wrap, and zoop!

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