If Rappers Were News Reporters

(unicorn galloping) (upbeat music) ♪ The world's pretty messed up right now ♪ ♪ Let me tell you how ♪ ♪ Our politicians selling out ♪ ♪ With the nonsense that comes out their mouth ♪ ♪ Let's start with ♪ ♪ The heartbeat bill banning abortions ♪ ♪ These goddamn white dudes making choices ♪ ♪ Some privileged voices ♪ ♪ Maybe a chick or two ♪ ♪ That's why the news looking like an episode of friends ♪ ♪ Lacking any melanin ♪ ♪ And common sense like in Alabama ♪ ♪ Say you're pro-life but go quiet ♪ ♪ When guns go ka-blam-ah, man, ♪ ♪ Can the real president please stand up ♪ ♪ Pardon my manners, but that ain't a man ♪ ♪ And I ain't a fan of his travel bans or his fake tan ♪ ♪ In other procedural news ♪ ♪ A million people mourn over a cathedral ♪ ♪ Notre dame is in flames that cannot be contained ♪ ♪ And I'm informed by the media ♪ ♪ Meanwhile in Sudan people are getting slaughtered ♪ ♪ But you can't be bothered by the rape of daughters ♪ ♪ Don't see any tweets for relief ♪ ♪ Top trend right now is YouTube beef ♪ ♪ The president has declared ♪ ♪ A national emergency due to immigrants ♪ ♪ Makes no sense because they harm us less ♪ ♪ Than our very own US

citizens ♪ ♪ This notion that they steal our jobs ♪ ♪ Most don't have the upper hand so it's odd ♪ ♪ That you roast them like, oh my god ♪ ♪ A real fraud is a school paid by famous moms ♪ ♪ It's pride month let your colors fly ♪ ♪ If you're gay, lesbian, trans or bi ♪ ♪ Ain't no straight parade ♪ ♪ And salty straights are asking why, hi, cause ♪ ♪ Gays get hate and fight these fights ♪ ♪ And some places I have no rights ♪ ♪ And my love is a crime and love wins ♪ ♪ But your love has won since the beginning of time ♪ ♪ Sigh, and hear this to all the people that are pissed ♪ ♪ My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips ♪ ♪ And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss ♪ ♪ Slim shady, Marshall Mathers out, this is politics ♪ – I think we're gonna have a problem here – [Man] Drake Drake! Drake, we're live! ♪ I bought a new chain so expect an icestorm ♪ ♪ My diamond ring froze up all the snow on the floor ♪ ♪ Don't got a shovel, ♪ ♪ Don't knock on the door of your neighbor ♪ ♪ Drizzy clear the roads ♪ ♪ With the salty tears of my haters ♪ ♪ Mother nature make it rain, like rappers in a strip club ♪ ♪ Used to date her, made her younger ♪ ♪ Paid for her niptuck ♪ ♪ Now she daughter nature ♪ ♪ And you know she got some friends ♪ ♪ And you know I make it wet, like precipitation ♪ ♪ Make it wet, make it wet ♪ ♪ I'll make it wet for my city though ♪ ♪ Take a dry spell and turn it into Lake Ontario ♪ ♪ It's scary doe, it's cold ♪ ♪ Windchill bring back my stubble ♪ ♪ About to hit a Timmy's up, ask them for a double double ♪ ♪ Man these heavy clouds up here try'na ruin my day ♪ ♪ I just want the sky blue, a ba-dee-a-ba day ♪ ♪ These haters don't wanna see ♪ ♪ A fella without an umbrella man ♪ ♪ I'm always on their minds ♪ ♪ Like flower crowns at Coachella ♪ ♪ Yeah my team the Northside, so we got strong wins ♪ ♪ And my girl like to blow, I guess she got strong winds ♪ ♪ Good brains, so smart, she got like 20 degrees ♪ ♪ She played hard to get, cold fronting ♪ ♪ I said girl please ♪ ♪ She wanna wear a mini skirt that goes above the knees ♪ ♪ With an itty-bitty crop top showing all that cleave ♪ ♪ And she asks me is it sunny, I tell her only partly ♪ ♪ Don't wear a tank top, bring a jacket, I'm sorry ♪ ♪ Summer's too far, it's still cold, my grill rattled ♪ ♪ And I oop- goddamn groundhog saw his shadow ♪ ♪ And I drop a new single and it goes number one mayne ♪ ♪ And these girls shake their booties ♪ ♪ And cause a hurricane fam ♪ ♪ Then I do a feature 'cause a flash flood warning ♪ ♪ And then I double tap your pic ♪ ♪ Make you famous the next morning ♪ ♪ Man your ex, your mama, your auntie, I double tap that ♪ ♪ Five day forecast your girl on my lap lap ♪ ♪ Cardi, Cardi, Cardi with the news ♪ ♪ Cardi with the views ♪ ♪ Cardi with the news, Cardi, Cardi with the news ♪ ♪ Welcome to my news report my name is Cardi B ♪ ♪ I make offset scream ♪ ♪ Exclamation mark like I'm hosting E ♪ ♪ I bust it down to the ground while I spill the tea ♪ ♪ And if they mad I'm throwing shoes at them just ask TMZ ♪ ♪ Dinosaurs are not extinct, scientists found evidence ♪ ♪ Yellow blue body parts inside Jurassic Park ♪ ♪ Kim K had a baby, Bieber married Hailey ♪ ♪ Archie's dad is Harry, Jonas Brothers ♪ ♪ Man, they could get it lately ♪ ♪ K-Pop, pop, pop, pop, everybody want K-Pop ♪ ♪ BTS and Blackpink slay, ♪ ♪ When they drop the chart the same day ♪ ♪ K-Pop, pop, pop, pop, everyone want K-Pop ♪ ♪ The K is Kanye's bubble so that crazy tweeting stop ♪ ♪ New HBO queens, Zendaya not Cersei ♪ ♪ Talk to Jay in front of B, and you get no mercy ♪ ♪ Taylor Swift and Katy, that burger is veggie ♪ ♪ So you need to calm down, 'cause that patty got no beef ♪ ♪ Okurrr ♪ ♪ Traffic, there's a lot of traffic, traffic ♪ ♪ Traffic, it's tragic tragic ♪ ♪ That 405 that ish a mess ♪ ♪ That ish more blocked than your last ex ♪ ♪ On IG no double tap, GPS reroute my map ♪ ♪ Swerve left, swerve right, ain't no officer in sight ♪ ♪ If I can I just might text your girl at a red light ♪ ♪ Collision in the right lane, right lane, right lane ♪ ♪ Man took a turn now he bleedin' out his brain ♪ ♪ Car went slip slip, slip n' slide, literally skrrt ♪ ♪ When you drive in the rain, make it twerk, twerk, twerk ♪ ♪ For construction work, work ♪ ♪ Show your thongs for pylons ♪ ♪ Road got more holes than her nylons ♪ ♪ I got a camera on every block ♪ ♪ Need an aerial I got that shot ♪ ♪ In a helicopter with an ashtray ♪ ♪ That's how I take the highway ♪ ♪ Car broke down straight ahead ♪ ♪ There go the tow truck, there go the fed ♪ ♪ Bumper to bumper, this road is a wreck ♪ ♪ Back it up like your girl in my bed ♪ ♪ In the carpool lane with my main thought ♪ ♪ I'm the only G on the whole block ♪ ♪ These other reporters is all talk ♪ ♪ They don't even pass me, on a crosswalk ♪ ♪ Parallel park behind your chick, she hear my verse ♪ ♪ And reverse on this D- ♪ ♪ I fill my tank then fill her purse, she an atheist ♪ ♪ But I took her to church ♪ ♪ Traffic, still a lot of traffic, traffic ♪ ♪ Traffic, grab it, rabbit, stab it, traffic ♪ – What's going on, I hope you enjoyed this video If you did, give it a big thumbs up and shout outs to Adobe for partnering with me, check out the behind the scenes videos that two fans made when they visited me on set

Playlist is right over there, and make sure you subscribe to Adobe Creative Cloud's YouTube channel, great source for inspiration, and subscribe to this channel 'cause yo, we make videos every once in a while! One love Lily, and that is a wrap, and zoop!

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