How To Make A Sandwich

– You know, people often ask me, why don't I reply to negative comments And that's because I only have two sides

Number one, a nice positive unicorn And two, a savage that will absolutely destroy you Allow me to demonstrate Comment: woman aren't funny Shouldn't you be in the kitching making me a sandwich? You see, like this confuses me

Why would you need me to make you a sandwich? That's not hard to do, I'll even teach you (bouncy piano music) Hello, first you take out your ingredients Here's what you'll need to make the sandwich Bread, salami, honey mustard, cheese, mayo, onions, spinach Please note that I'm using fresh ingredients to make up for your expired thought process

Step one, on a cutting board, chop up your onion Now, if you start to painfully tear up, don't worry Now you know how your mother feels when she sees how you turned out Now you just a little bit of onion because you don't wanna overpower the sandwich Now while cutting, you'll notice that the onion has layers just like your insecurity

Next, you wanna take your bread and separate the two pieces so we can put stuff in between them Now I know you're not familiar with things separating for you, because you never get laid, but don't worry, use your strong, muscular, well-exercised right arm and grab some mayo Today I'm using chipotle mayo because spicy foods are associated with pain relief and you clearly live a very sad, sad life And what you wanna do is you wanna spread a thin layer of mayo across your bread, 'cause that way at least your sandwich can believe in equality Up next, you wanna take some spinach and put it on your bread and don't worry about washing the spinach because dirt belongs in the trash and that's exactly what you are

You see, now spinach is good for you because spinach contains protein and if you eat a lot of protein, then maybe one day you too can become strong enough to possibly fight for the right to vote or bear children But until then, keep eating your spinach Once you've placed a few pieces of spinach on your bread, it's time for the salami Now salami is a type of cured sausage and fun fact, the length of these sausages can range anywhere from six inches to two inches so really, either way, much larger than any sausage you're used to handling In fact, right now would be a good time to take your salami and whisper to it, "Goals

" Now you wanna take your honey mustard and apply it on top of your salami in thin strokes Now the sweetness in the honey mustard will not only add a great kick to the salami, but it'll also help out balance how salty you are Now to finish off your sandwich, add a slice of cheese I personally prefer skim milk, zero percent cheese because that's exactly how much your comment matters It's also a good idea to purchase your ingredients from local farmers

That way, you know that your money is going towards a cause you believe in For example, if you don't think women are funny, you should continue to watch my videos and leave a comment That way, I can continue to buy nice things Thank you To finish off your sandwich, close it

Something you're not used to doing with your mouth If you'd like, you can also cut your sandwich in two, just like how I cut your BS Pour yourself a nice big glass of ice cold water to help with your newly-obtained burns Most importantly, don't forget to enjoy And you see, that's why I don't respond to negative comments

Because I prefer to be a nice, kind unicorn But in the interest of balance and sheer entertainment, I've decided that 999% of the time, I will focus on those wonderful, supportive comments But that other 001% of the time, I'll unleash the savage

Hmm, maybe this should be a new series Hey, I hope you enjoyed this video, it was so much fun to film, just to put it out there, this video is not directed to anyone else besides sexist people so I'm not attacking all men, men who support women, I dig you, you da bomb If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up, like actually give it a thumbs up, so if you like it, I'll do more, that's how works Comment below letting me know your favorite part If you wanna check out my last video, it is right over there, it is three ways my childhood screwed me up, three of many, many

My second vlog channel is right over there, I daily vlog, so check that out Also if you wanna pre-order my book, the link is in the description, you can also press that eye and the last thing I'll tell you before I shut up is on December 1st, my 12 Collabs of Christmas are starting, if you don't know what that is, it's 12 collaborations in the month of December and they're all surprises so stay tuned for that Subscribe, so you can keep up to date, 'cause I'm making videos every Monday and Thursday but in December, it's going to be so much more often It's gonna be a freaking party One love Superman, that is a wrap and zoop

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