How To Lose At Award Shows

– What a perfectly timed thematic video (groans) The scheduling turns me on

(hooves clacking) (unicorn neighing) What up everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman, and the Emmys just happened And if it's your first day on the planet and you don't know what the bloody hell the Emmys are, it's an award show for TVs and stuff TV, not for TVs, Samsung doesn't win It's an award show for TV actors, is that what it is? Excellence in American primetime television I know what I'm talking about, hello Hollywood

It's very prestigious, very glamorous, aka I wasn't invited But I have been to quite a few award shows, and I've even had the privilege and honor of being nominated for some categories Mm-hm, yep, like best cameo for a dog Shut up, zoomed in Lily! I'll come and smack you so hard imma feel it from back here! And let me just say, as someone who has experienced this firsthand, being nominated for an award and sitting there as they announce the winner is so uncomfortable I want you to imagine this

You can win or lose at any second and you have to be equally prepared for both scenarios Now, if you win, it's not as big of a deal because your natural reaction is probably gonna be perfect Oh my (gasps), oh my God (wheezes) Oh my God That's fine, but if you lose, you can't actually react how you feel, don't play yourself

Don't be dumb You're an actor, and in this moment you need to act better than ever before, fam You can't be caught slipping like this – [Announcer] And the winner for best comedic scene is Donald Glover! (applause) (claps bitterly) And the winner for best dramatic scene is Donald Glover! (applause) And the winner for best female supporting role is Donald Glover! (applause) – So here's how to properly lose at an award show And trust me, I have lots of experience

Number one, the nod That's right, just nice and easy, okay We wanna start off slow, before we try more advanced techniques It's important to not go too intense Don't slip a disc

– [Announcer] And the award for best actor in a TV series goes to Donald Glover! (applause) (loud buzzing) – Also, make sure you're nodding in the right direction You're not a walrus – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (loud buzzing) – One or two nice nods does the trick – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (light chime) – Wow, what grace Number two, why is my bandana slipping off? Oh my God, you know why? Because your performance is slipping, okay

Number two, the clap That was improv Slightly more advanced than the nod, the clap implies not only are you a decent human being, but you're coordinated You know what I mean Make sure you clap several times, not just once or twice, or you'll seem sarcastic

– [Announcer] And the award for best actor in a movie goes to Donald Glover! (applause) (unenthusiastic clapping) (loud buzzing) – And remember not to clap as if you're arguing with your ex – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (flippant clapping) (loud buzzing) – Three or four claps is where it's at – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (steady clapping) (light chime) – I know this sounds stupid, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to clap like a normal human being when there's so many cameras on you You wanna look normal, not like you're making rotis – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (palms slapping rapidly) – Once you've mastered the clap, it's time to move onto number three, words of support

Now the key here is to look genuinely happy, and not fake and plastic You need to convince the entire audience that the person that won is your best friend and you are ecstatic for their victory, even if their performance was mediocre or whatever Now it's important to keep this tame – [Announcer] And the award for best director goes to Donald Glover! (applause) – Yes! Go Donald! (shrill yelling) (loud buzzing) And you don't wanna whisper It looks sketchy and TMZ will run with it

– [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (loud buzzing) – Subtle and compassionate – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) – Well deserved, well deserved (light chime) So well deserved Well deserved And pro-tip, you wanna keep saying these words until the camera is on you, okay

Because if the camera doesn't catch you saying these words, did you even say them? – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) – Well deserved, so well deserved Well deserved, well deserved So well deserved, well deserved For sure, so well deserved Amazing, amazing job

Number four, (sniffling) happy tears Now this is a little more advanced, but if you got nominated for an Emmy (coughs) you can handle it Now this choice shows you're bigger than this moment, you're bigger than this nomination You are bigger than this award show It shows that you have a deep appreciation for the craft of acting

You are crying, why? Because art Don't go too overboard – [Announcer] And the award for best writer goes to Donald Glover! (applause) (hoarse wailing) (loud buzzing) – And remember, you still need to look good – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (guttural bawling) (loud buzzing) – A single tear is the way to go – [Announcer] Donald Glover! (applause) (light chime) – And you want to make sure you prepare in advance accordingly with some waterproof mascara, okay

Don't be an animal, this is a classy event Number five, combine all Why is my banda– You know what? Now it's time to prove to everyone why you were nominated for an Emmy, by combining all of these things into one showstopping performance – [Announcer] And the award for best music video goes to Childish Gambino! (applause) (claps gently) (light chiming) – Oh my God, what a showstopping performance! If only you were Donald Glover but alas, you are not Don't worry, there's always next year, where Donald Glover will also win

But yo, at least you're invited (deep thud) (delicate twinkle) Oh, so this video's not on the trending page and another video is? (claps forcefully) Well deserved If you liked this video, give it a big thumbs up My last video's right over there, make sure you watch it, what are you doing? Second vlog channel right over there, check it out! And make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday One love, Superwoman, that is a wrap and zoop!

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.