How to Delay Your Period for Vacation

– Based on a true story (hoof beats) (horse neighing) What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman, and tonight I am flying to Trinidad for a Carnival

For everyone who's confused about what I just said, no Trinidad is not in Africa, no Carnival is not a circus, OK google a map, read a Wikipedia, educate yourself Basically a tropical destination with lots of celebration So I'm planning this trip like – OK so we land on Saturday – OK

– Party on Saturday, Sunday and Monday – OK – Beach day on Tuesday – OK But then I start hearing some key words

– Snorkeling and swimming in the morning – Swimming – So make sure you bring your bikini – Bikini – Ooh and there's an all white party, so don't forget to pack your white jeans

White jeans, white jeans – Wait what are the dates again? AKA, am I gonna have my period during this vacation? The answer, of course, of course this one specific week where I wanna lift my leg and bust a wine like (grunts), my uterus is gonna be like, nope interference We interrupt this programming to define wine for any squares that may be watching A wine is a form of dance involving gyration of the hips Can be slow or fast, but must always be sexy

I'm gonna try to bust a wine with bust up uterus, like let me get down, but with caution (upbeat music) (moaning) Let me wine on your right now nice and slow, not too hard here we go Wait that's my uterus, that's my uterus hold on Right there, right there Yeah ay, just gotta make sure I don't sneeze you know

Yeah you like that you like that? This is fun right? Oh yeah, Carnival Trinidad (speaks foreign language) fast wine fast wine fast wine Fast, fast oh cramp hold on a sec I can't have that, no no OK I would rather die than bust a weak wine So what do I do? I google the hell out of how to delay my period

And straight up, I don't care what the source it, because I'll believe it Delayyourperiodcom, excellent Get excessive exercise and eat lots of peanuts, hmmm Take that you stupid uterus

– Oi what the bloody hell you doing huh? Is there new internet dance? Bloody Silento – I'm trying to delay my period – Huh, if you want to delay your period, tie one string on your toe – What? – Trust me, it work – My mom always gives me these home remedies that are so scientifically unsound

Like how is a string on my toe, influential to my uterus shedding? Are you serious? Like don't be dumb, hell no – What are you doing? – My big toe's connected to my uterus line OK so pressure here, prevents shedding here You know because of photosynthesis or something Trust me, it makes sense

– Uh yeah – No but for real I know that's dumb, because in real life I understand it doesn't work, that was just a skit, no no wait one sec, one, OK listen Listen OK in my defense, I can feel my chloroplasts responding already, OK? Anyways apparently an increase in stress, can also delay your period, so Hi yes hello, I'd like to book a skydiving session for tomorrow Hey ex boyfriend, you know I was thinking we should totally get back together

Alright, Game of Thrones, season one, episode one Let's do this Oh yeah, that's good right there Oh wait crap crap, I forgot, stop Hey yeah you just moved right? Hmmm can I come over and assemble all your IKEA furniture? And then I realized that the solution to my problem has been in front of me the entire time

If I can't delay my period, I'll just induce it Ugh we leave in five days and I still haven't gotten my period I hope I get my period right now – It's so funny how you're hoping you get your period, and I'm like wishing mine would leave – Wait, you have your period? – Yeah

(angelic choir) – Hug me, hug me harder – You're hurting me – I need your hormones to rub off on me OK Whisper into my ear, come on, you can't go home – Ummm

– Hey, would you sit on my lap? The struggle is real out here OK I don't want my period to ruin my vacation So I start to get desperate Great news, I think I'm gonna get pregnant Yeah I'm like totally ready to have a kid

– Wait, this isn't because you wanna miss your period is it? – What? Of course not, how dare you accuse me of doing something so petty OK urgh, but that is what happens right? Like do you think I would miss the one I was gonna get on vacation or does it skip one? Can we google it? Long story short, I'm leaving for Trinidad and Tobago tonight, and I still haven't gotten my period, so (speaks foreign language) Yo you liked that video? Here's how you can let me know Give it a big thumbs up Come on that ish is free

My last video's right over there You wanna see some dope Trinidad vlogs? Second channel right over there Make sure you pre order my book, How to be a Bawse, come on the link is in the description, do it One love Superwoman, that is a wrap and zoom

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