An Intervention For Cheap People

– Hey Lilly can I bug you? – Just give me a sec – What are you doing? – There's a hole in my shirt so I'm just fixing it

There, problem solved – Yeah Um, can I borrow you outside real quick? – Is it urgent? I was just in the middle of stalking my ex

– Not urgent but there's a sale at Target– – Huh, I'll drive – [Friend] That's what I thought – Sale! Remind me not to buy those small bottles of lotion because I still have so many left over from that time we stayed at the Sheraton What's this? – Lilly, have a seat – Okay

What's going on guys? I thought we were going to Target – We're having an intervention – I drank that hand sanitizer by accident – What, no – And also I was googling prom pics but I made a type

So that's why when you walked in there was porn pics – Lilly we're having this intervention because you're cheap – What? I'm not cheap – As your teammates and your friends we feel differently Derek, would you like to start? (clears throat) – Um, this year you had my name for Secret Santa and all I wanted was a new phone case

– Yeah, and I got you one – You got me this – Okay, that is a zip and lock freezer bag, by the way, so if anything I splurged – The other day it took me an hour to make you a milkshake (quirky music) – I have to eat my cereal two cheerios at a time

I mean, a regular size milk carton is all we're asking for – Really? What's next huh? We're gonna start buying bottles of ketchup even though we have the packets from Mcdonalds? – Okay, the other day Lilly took me to Costco for lunch – Wait, what's wrong with buying lunch at Costco? I actually like their food – She didn't buy it – Mm, yup, which one was that again? – For the third time, sweet chili

– Sweet chili, we'll try one of those Grab one, grab one, come on, don't be shy – [Both] Mm – Oh yeah – Let's get going

– What about that one? – They're all sweet chili – They're all sweet chili Are you sure because I feel like they're different – [Both] Mm, mm hmm – Now I see, all sweet chili

– Are you guys gonna buy something or what? – I haven't decided if I like it yet Maybe one more Here you go – Okay – Just to make sure

– We're really doing this – Why not? – Why are you carrying that? – It's free food I'm not trying to be wasteful – Last week I had a cold and the Starbucks napkins were really rough on my nose Can't we just get regular tissues? – I'm sorry your nose is a Kardashian

Gosh, this guy – Last year when I was booking your world tour, do you remember what you said about your flights? – Yeah, I said we should book one flight from LA to India with a whole bunch of stopovers in different countries but that's smart – One time you tried to bargain with a vending machine at the mall – How do you know if you don't try Paul? – What about that time we went clubbing? And you made us all go so early – But it was ladies free before 11:00

– Yeah, but you made us go with you (club music) (giggles) – But did you pay? – Guys were hitting on me – Why didn't you just take the wig off? You first interviewed me you asked me if I wanted a sparkling or still water, remember that? – Yeah I do Exactly, it's like a fancy restaurant in here, options – Right, I said I wanted sparkling and you gave me tap water with glitter in it

– But did it sparkle? – My poo looked like a Christmas ornament for weeks – That sounds fantastic, you're welcome – Listen Lilly, all we're saying is that maybe if you weren't so economically cautious, things would change Like maybe you wouldn't be single – Excuse me? Okay, I treated my ex like a king, by the way

Do you know how many times I made him classy dinners? (quirky music) Happy anniversary babe Oh, my mistake There Listen guys, I appreciate the concern but I'm fine Trust me, so can we please just get back to work? – Fine

– Sure – Thank you – The Wi-Fi isn't working – Can you call the neighbors please? – Yeah, to ask them if theirs is working? – No, ask them for the new password, obviously Oh so you pay for Wi-Fi now? Me cheap are you kidding me? Make sure you click my ads, I want that money though

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What the eff?

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