A Rant on Women’s Pockets (THEY SUCK!)

– This video ain't a joke, I'm pissed – What up everyone it's your girl, iiSuperwomanii – And if you believe that men and women have equality, Then you've never met a women's pant pocket

– Because some mother f'er, a long time ago, while effin', I don't know, churning butter, – Like, "You know what? I don't think women need to carry things" – And now I'm standing here in 2018 like "Mother effa' I need to carry A phone, keys, chapsticks, hair tie, and hundreds of years of oppression" – On the list of things that annoy the crap out of me, Women's pockets are at the top

– They're so small, they're so useless, they make no sense – not to mention things that are designed for women, don't even fit into women's pockets – And don't even get me started on the fake pockets – You know what I'm talking about? the pockets that look real but they're actually non-functional – How can you not believe in Satan after you've experienced a fake pocket? – I swear to God, the first time I experienced a fake pocket, I got baptized on the next mother effin' day just like, "God, show us the way" – Haha – I'm laughing but I'm serious

– But real talk though I just don't understand who decided that Men deserve pocket space, but women do not – God dammit – Here, let me take it – Where you gonna put your stuff? – In my pocket – Alright, whatever I need gum – Here ya' go

– Where'd you just get this? – Uhm, my pocket? – Eh, whatever I need to go get the tickets – Oh need to worry, I got them in my pockets – Okay? Do you want something for the road? – Oh, yes please, thank you so much – Wait, where did you just put that? – Oh, in my back pocket – You know what? We're getting late, we should leave, what time is it? – Uh, let me check my pocket watch

– I'll kill you- – NOT MY POCKET, NOT MY POCKET! – Like straight up, this is what rappers should be rapping about – 'Kay, eff your cars, your money, and your girls – Rap about your pockets! That's the real privilege – Ugh, just brought a pair of Levis, I'm about to rock it – Got two in the front, and got two back pockets

– Whatever you gotta hold, baby girl, I got it – Got more space than Elon Musk rocket – Ladies love it, don't got one condom I got sixteen in my pocket – Got lots of lovers, got more real estate than the property brothers – Number one on iTunes, diss track of the year – But I know you're like, "Women have purses" right? But nah, – Eff that, I hate carrying a purse okay? – I lost my bed-sheets the other day

No, like my bedsheets? – I lost them, I don't know where they are You want me to keep track of a purse? Nah – Not to mention that carrying a purse, is like over-packing for a trip – Every, single, day – That will be $4

99 – Oh, fiddle stakes, I forgot my wallet – Can I borrow a five? – Yeah for sure *digging around inside the bag, clanking sounds of sunglasses* – One sec

– Oh, my, I've been looking everywhere for these – Ugh, hold this – And these! – Oh my god, jeez – Oh, there you are! Oh my god – Oh, got it got it got it

– Oh, no sorry one sec – Don't drink these – Oh, no – Ahh, got it – It's been 84 years

– I swear to god, I have never once, even once been in a scenario, – Where someone will pull the thing they been looking for, out of their purse – Scientists, why you so confused about the Bermuda triangle? – It's in every women's purse – Every women's purse, every women's purse, – Every women's pur- SHAT AP YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING 'BOUT OK? *indian accent* – Every once in a while, a women's back pocket will be aiight – By "aiight" I mean the thing will fit in it but it's tight, it's uncomfortable, And I can't live my life properly *upbeat music* – Goin'? *clap* – AUGHHH! – Oh my god, I keyed his penis

– Oh, sorry, that was the trade-off men, if you want pockets, The consequence is that you get a car key in your P-hole every once in a while Boo-hoo – Not to mention when I put my iPhone in my back pocket, – This happens one hundred percent of the time *quirky guitar music* – Sigh *bloop* – Oh no no no no no no

*inhale* – God, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew EW EW EW! – God, bless fanny packs I swear to god, if fanny packs – go out of fashion, fashion is can-solt (canceled) *BOOM* – All my women, please share this video so people – can know that we deserve pockets – If you liked it, give it a big thumbs up – My last video which which is equally as bomb is right – over there, check it out you got nothin' to do right right right maybe? – Second vlog channel there, make sure you subscribe – I make videos every Mondays, and Thursdays! – That's two videos a week go ahead and do it

– One love Superwoman, that is a wrap, and zoop!

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